The Value of Life

Practise Courage (May 25, 2010)

2011-01-15T09:40:00.001+08:00

CHURCHILL once said, “Success is never final, and failure is never fatal. It is courage that counts!”

I have been learning to understand and adapt courage in my life. All my life I have had this one question; “What is courage?”

I am focused on one vital aspect of life leadership, asking my friends and doing some reading. I’ve been working hard with courage in my own life too.

Courage. What is it? Is it a thing?

The dictionary states that ‘courage’ is a noun. But can we hold it, touch it, carry it, and see it? The answer is no.

After searching all over for answers, here’s what I believe what courage is: In French, courage means “heart and spirit.” Great leaders throughout history have acted from their hearts, but the definition of courage has been narrowed to simple heroics.

Courage means a lot more, and is the main key for each one of us. According to Aristotle, courage is the first human virtue because it makes all the others virtues possible.

It is important for us to know that lift does not give us courage. Life gives us opportunities to practice the actions needed to accumulate courage. Courage hold no prejudice for those who try to do their best, even in their weakest moments.

I believe that courage is an open door to the lessons need to meet life’s expectations.

It is though our choice to execute the will to open and enter the doors of courage that we get what we deserve; more courage, a better life and the greatest of opportunities we will have.

It is sad to know that many people find courage in some of the most unfamiliar places. I have personally know people who found courage in an alcohol bottle, at the end of a cigarette stick or when using drug.

These are short-lived engagements of limited levels of courage. This courage is absent when the devices, tools or other people are unavailable for support. The courage that lasts is called real courage.

Real courage is one that can be earned through quality effort, will, integrity and action. No other people can give us this kind of courage.

We are the only ones who can engage long-lasting and self-sustaining real courage into our lives.

We must believe that courage is a teachable skill as well as one that can be learned, and that almost everyone can be courageous.

Building our real courage and advancing professionally are similar to climbing a 10-foot ladder. The first step can be low and wide, and each consecutive step takes you higher and the ladder get narrower. The ascent get shakier as the steps taper on the top of the ladder/

In addition to being the most important human virtue, courage is the most important business virtue as well. My perception is that a person with a real courage is one who dares to be honest with his or her feelings and abilities. For example, learning how to use a new software programme might generate anxiety or ineptness.

A courageous person would say: “I am in over my head and I need assistance to guide me through this transition.”

Revealing vulnerability is a characteristic of someone who possess courage. To me courageous people do not give up easily, especially when it comes to opinions and judgments they fell are right even challenged. They are not close-minded.

Rather, they leave conformity and safety behind to offer opinions and solutions. They know that career advancement is worth the time and sacrifices made.

As it takes courage to attend evening classes for a degree or give up vacation time to focus on their real passion, people with courage state their goals and then work to find ways to achieve them. They develop new models when the old ones don’t work.

They move forward and upward, never quit, and take risks to reinvent themselves. Their drive for constant learning help build their courage and achieve success.

From an early age, I have a great fear snakes. What did I do about it? I went on to hold a snake when I was 26 years old!

I believe that fear in an invitation to courage. Over a long period of time, I was able to dominate my fear of snakes instead of letting it dominate me. Though I remain afraid of snakes, I was able to overcome my fear just enough to hold one.

When I was young, I had no confidence to stand on stage. However, with the change that I’ve made and the courage that I hold within myself, I went up and I kept riding on a chance to given by my teachers.

I succeeded in conquering my fear and that led me to where I am today. I commit and persevered with great courage to move forward.

Perhaps it is time for us to think of a recent time or experience when courage was not called upon… when we didn’t act decisively. Think about how the outcome could have been if you acted with courage.

Let us recall a specific moment in our working life when and where we were proud of ourselves. Maybe we finally conquered the fear in a delivering a speech in front of a big crowd. Perhaps you committed to learning a new skill that benefited your career. Relive that experience and determine the specific behavior that made all the difference.

We must believe that if we have introduced real courage into our life, none of its expectations or limitations will hold any bearing or control on our lives. Let us restate our intent to claim our courage. Write it down and keep asking: “Am I acting courageously?”

Something to remember: A bright and shining vision has value only when we have the courage to follow it. Remember who we are, where we come from and real value of what we have to offer. Then step forwards, with renewed real courage and sincere commitment and make it real. That is real courage.

View of beauty (May 16, 2010

2011-01-15T09:35:00.002+08:00

In today’s world, beauty takes on different definitions. Is beauty important? Is beauty a compulsory factor to secure a good life? I am sure many people hold different views. When one thinks of a beautiful person, the first thought that comes to mind is a picture of some celebrities that appear all over television and movies. These celebrities spend most of their time in front of a camera while the rest of the world watch in envy. Many people would love to have the beauty that these celebrities possess. Indeed they are very beautiful, but is that beauty?

Beauty is a characteristic of a person. It provides a perceptual experience of pleasure, meaning or satisfaction. Beauty is studied as part of aesthetics, sociology, social psychology and culture. An “ideal beauty” is an entity that is admired, or that possess features widely attributed to beauty in a particular culture. There are two types of beauty: The inner beauty and the outer beauty. People see these two types of beauty as very different from each another.

A person that holds outer beauty is typically a person that is considered physically attractive. This person, whether it is a he or a she, is usually considered to be slim or of average weight and height. It is very rarely that an overweight person is considered as outwardly beautiful.

It is very normal to refer to a kind hearted person as having inner beauty. He or she always interested in helping and reaching out to others. Everything he or she does is for the good of someone else. He or she may focus on recycling and other “green” matters that will help to preserve the earth we all live on. He or she may volunteer at local missions or hospitals in order to help others. He or she may be the person that everyone he or she knows turns to when they need advice or help through difficult time. He or she usually is reliable. If he or she says he or she is going to do something, you can bet that he or she will do it. He or she may not have outer beauty but this is rarely focused on. His or her inner beauty will shine so brightly that the lack of outer beauty is unrecognizable.

Few years ago, a friend of mine from Korea told me in her emails that she did not manage to get an executive post just because her appearance. She has simple and ordinary face. She was sad & very discouraged by it. She felt it was unfair to judge a book by its cover. Academically she is qualified with an honour degree in Human Resource Management. She was contemplating of plastic surgery to transform herself into a beauty. She told me that she never thought that would happen to her. In the past, she could not understand why people were spending tons of money to beatify themselves to the extent of undergoing plastic surgery and body reconstruction. At that time, she thought that this group of people was with very low self-esteem; they did not have confidence in themselves, and that was why they resorted to various means of beautifying themselves.

However, her perception changed after the bad experience she had gone through. She began to believe and accept that to be employed, one must be good looking too. She began to understand why plastic surgery has become a hit among graduating seniors in Korea. Employers in Korea do not base their selection criteria on applicants’ education background alone; they would want their employees to be good looking person reflects good personalities and attitudes. Normally, people will relate a good looking person as one who is organized, immaculate and confident. Korean employers believe that it is important for their staff to possess both outer and inner beauty. Though this is not impossible it is difficult to come by. Many that have outer beauty are so busy trying to keep it that they usually don’t think about the things a person with inner beauty may think about. Those with inner beauty are so busy trying to do good for others that they rarely think about themselves or when they do, their focus is not on how they can improve their outer appearance.

With the advancement of our world today, people’s mind set is changing as well-inner beauty has to be enhanced by outer beauty as well. On an individual basis or by community consensus, the characterization of a person into a “beauty” is often based on the combination of Inner Beauty, which includes psychological factors such as personality, intelligence, grace, politeness, charisma, integrity, congruence and elegance and Outer Beauty, which is referred to as physical attractiveness which includes physical factors such as health youthfulness, facial symmetry, and complexion.

In conclusion, beauty is a wonderful thing.

Inner and outer beauty is something that people should work to achieve. Too much of any one thing is never good, but some of each is a definite positive. In the past, people may have told us that it is alright if we do not have a presentable appearance, so long as we have a kind heart. However, I think people now will not only appreciate us for all the good that we do for those in need, but also if we portray a positive and attractive appearance.

Love means ‘to listen’(May 9, 2010)

2011-01-15T09:25:00.002+08:00

The First duty of Love is to listen. The gentle art of listening is a great gift that we can give to others and ourselves. When we listen to others, we show them that what they say is worthwhile listening to. We thus inject in them self worth and confidence.

Listening takes us out of our tendency towards self-absorption and self-protection. Listening is an essential skill worth tons of effort to learn and to master. It opens us to the world around us and to the persons who matter most to us. When we listen, we will learn, grow, and be nourished. We will learn more if we listen. Zeno of Citium said 2000 years ago that the reason why we have two ears and one mouth is we should listen more and talk less.

In life, have you ever felt that that you have difficulty in getting along with others or that people try to avoid you? If that is the case, it might have to do with how others perceive our listening skills. If we are perceived as a bad listener, then oftentimes people will try to avoid us altogether rather than wasting their energy to communicate with us. We might then find ourselves missing out a lot of opportunities.

I can never agree more with this statement by Dr. John Gottman: “Listen first and acknowledge what you hear, even if you don’t agree with it, before expressing your experience or point of view.” Dr. John Gottman is word renowned for his work of marital stability and divorce prediction. It involves the study of emotions, physiology, and communication. He was recently voted as one of the Top 10 Most Influential Therapists of the past quarter-century by Psychotherapy Networker publication. He describes his discovery that listening really works. In order to get more of your conversation partner’s attention in tense situations, pay attention first: listen and give a brief restatement of what you have heard (especially feelings) before you express you own needs or position.

In learning to better coordinate our live activities with the life activities of others; perhaps we have to avoid models of communication such as arguing like arguing a case in court and debating. In court and debates, it is always for each side to try to make its own pointes and listens to the other side only to tear down the other side’s points. However, in life, if we adopt the style of arguing and debating, our list probably will end up in chaotic situation. We, instead have to the person who wants us to hear their opinion.

It is very common that when people are upset about something and want to talk about it, their capacity to listen is great diminished. When we are trying to get our point across to a person who is trying to express a strong feeling, it will usually cause the other person to try even harder to get that emotion recognized. On the other hand, once a person feels that their messages and feelings have been heard, they start to relax and they have more attention available for listening.

For example, in the hospital a nurse might say, after listening to a patient: “I hear that you are very uncomfortable right now, Ruby, and you would really want to get out of that bed and move around. But our doctor says your wound won’t heal unless you stay put for another week.” The patient in this example is much more likely to listen to the nurse than if the nurse simply said: “I’m really sorry, Ruby, but you wound won’t heal unless you stay put for another week.” What is missing is any acknowledge of the patient’s present experience.

As Marshall Rosenberg reported in his book, ‘Nonviolent Communication,’ “studies in labour-management negotiations demonstrate that the time required to reach conflict resolution is cut in half when each negotiator agrees, before responding, to repeat what the previous speaker had said.” The kind of listening recommended here separates acknowledging from approving or agreeing. Acknowledging another person’s thoughts and feelings does not have to mean that you approve of or agree with that person’s actions or way of experiencing, or that you will do whatever someone ask.”

Being a good listener is not easy, in fact, the only easy listening you will find is on the Radio. What makes listening so hard? According to the expert in communication, it is due to our ego. We as human being always have a tendency to pretend to be listening while our mind is racing, trying to think something to say. We have the urge to interrupt the conversation. Sometimes we even seem to want to hear ourselves just to confirm and validate our existence. And when our partner allows us to speak, instead of ending after make our point, we continue speak for our own satisfaction.

Therefore, the very first thing we must learn to do is to delete our ego. Leave it outside the door. We shall look at our partner, and focus on what is being said by him or her. In order to be more attentive, we can ask ourselves, what can we learn and how can both parties benefits from conversation.

When it’s our turn to talk, repeat what we think they were saying. This is important, because sometimes in communication the meaning can get lost in our interpretation. Repeating it as we understood it, asking if we understand what they meant, will give them the opportunity to correct any misunderstanding by rephrasing what they said so the point is clear. It will also keep us from misunderstanding the meaning and getting angry or hurt over it.

After we have the full meaning of what they said, we can respond to the points made. When we are done, make sure the proper understanding is there of what we meant, by carefully listening to them repeat what they heard. If they didn’t understand correctly, repeat what we said by rephrasing it.

We may want to learn to put ourselves in the place of the person who speaks to us. By understanding them is very significant to them, when understanding is being made, we are able to make the person feel more apt to open up themselves.

In a word, the better at listening we are, the more productive we will be in lift and more opportunities will come to us. Listening responsively is always worthwhile as a way of letting people know that we care about them. As listening is the first thing we have to learn before we can express our love to others. Let us learn to love others by mastering the skill of Listening!

Recipe for Success (Apr 25, 2010)

2010-04-25T14:15:00.006+08:00

Like many others, I have spent time thinking about factors that lead some people to be very successful in life and which of these factors are within one’s control. Successful people might be intelligent or they may be socially well connected or they may have good upbringings. They may be naturally energetic, open-minded and positive.

In my article last week, I quoted what Lion Sim Boon Chuan, the Immediate Past District Governor of Lions International of District 308-A2 once said in his speech at a Lions function, he said, “if a person has Accepted anything like study, career, religion, social and charity club or organization, Believe in what one has accepted, Committed to one’s believed dream, goal and belief, one will succeed in life. I believe that the “ABC” is a good set of recipe for success.” A is for Accept, B for Believe and C for Commit.

In life, everybody can lead a successful life; we have the opportunity every day to decide how we want to spend our time. We can make conscious choices to create the life we dream of. Every new day is a day for us to renew, revitalize, and restart any aspect of our career and life. All we have to do is changing our thinking and our way of doing things. Like cooking, if we have good recipes to follow, we will be able to cook delicious dishes.

The ingredients are as follows:

A - ACCEPT the task, challenge or work with positive attitude. Having a good attitude is the single most important key to success in anything. One of my favorite quotes is "Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it." We have to think like a winner to be a winner. This is because our attitude towards what we accept has profound and significant effects on things that we pursue.

Have you met someone with a bad attitude? Someone who constantly focuses on the 'problems' and poisons conversations with his or her negativity? Do you enjoy being around him or her? Do such people really go far in life? I believe life is what we make out of it. We create our own reality. Therefore we must learn to focus on the good things; focus on adding value; focus on creating success for ourselves and that is exactly what will happen.

B - BELIEVE in the challenge that we have accepted. Believe in ourselves and become our own biggest fan. In life, others see you as you see yourself. When we believe in ourselves and confidently express our unique "I" in the world, we can be sure that success is virtually guaranteed.

The people who do well in this world are great self-promoters. Think about the ways that successful individuals brand themselves. Donald Trump's brand is associated with luxury. Rachel Ray focuses on enjoying herself and savoring food while sharing her recipes (her LOVE) with the world. When we believe in what we do and when it is a reflection of 'who we are' inside, we become a magnet to attract exciting opportunities... and that makes us successful.

C- COMMIT to doing the best at what we do. The most successful among us are those who do what others cannot or would not do. They find that one trait about themselves: the intense passion burning within them which makes them commit to do their best to achieve excellence. There is only one Oprah Winfrey, or George Carlin, or Michael Jordan. These people EXCEL at what they do because of their commitment.

When we are excellent at what we do, we become indispensable until we stop believing it. Commitment to excellence breeds success and success comes while we are aspiring for the number one spot. Commitment is of utmost importance; we have to commit to what we do and commit ourselves 100% to it. That takes strength and determination.

I believe the “dishes” we cook will become tastier and the aroma will last longer if we add in 2 important ingredients: Sacrifice and Perseverance. As Charles O. Finley says, “Sweat plus sacrifice equals success.” We sweat when we persevere and continue to work hard. We sacrifice our time, money and forgo instant gratification. We have to sacrifice a lot of our “free time”. We will have to decline unnecessary invitations and avoid distractions. However, the good news is that if we are doing what we are good at and what we love, it would not feel like a sacrifice. We will happily forgo short-term gratification for long-tem gains.

There is a quote that says, “When the world says "Give up," Hope whispers "Try it one more time”." we have to keep on trying. Success comes to the last man or woman standing. Most people never become successful because they simply do not try hard enough. Whatever we do, we must not give up instead we must persevere. It seems it is much easier to give up when we have bills due or when no one else believes in you. Albert Einstein says, “It is not that I am so smart; it is just that I stay with problems longer.” That is precisely the moment when we should buckle down and work harder. If we give up, we surely fail... but if we keep on going, pushing ourselves past over our limits, we will ultimately taste success. It just works out that way. Remember that if we are being our best self and expressing our unique "I", we have much better chances to succeed in life’

We must realize that success comes to those who accept their challenges with positive attitude, believe in themselves, commit to what they are doing, and make sacrifice, persevere and work their tails off.

IF we already have and using the recipe, we must always remind ourselves, when we done well, we should set our sights on doing even better. If we have successfully reached high, reach even higher. Keep reminding ourselves; make it our goal to exceed our own best efforts. One of the very best things about success is that it serves as the basis for greater success. Do not let our success go to waste by simply sitting on it. Find a way to top ourselves. Believe in ourselves we have done great so far, and now we can do even better.

Esther Law is a director, consultant, trainer, Past Division Governor of Toastmasters International, President for Lions Club of Kuching Host (2009-2010). Esther is also the Overseas Director of Fuda Cancer Hospital, Guangzhou, China. If you have any comments about this article you can contact her at lawleepoh@gmail.com

Live life through H.E.A.R.T! T=Touched (Mac 28, 2010)

2010-03-28T14:11:00.003+08:00

After exploring the R = Reach out, we shall move on to T = Touched. Touched is an emotion, an experience and a feeling of being very grateful for something kind that someone has done. It is a gentle feeling. Caress is its symbol. It arises almost inevitably by something kind done to us by someone. It is a person-to-person emotion. It signifies love, happiness, joy, awe and reverence. When we are touched by someone, we are grateful and moved by their kindness.

Have you ever asked yourselves whether you would love to create a lifetime memory? Do you desire to do something that is priceless for someone whom you love? I believe we can achieve this objective by doing something which is special and comforting to someone whom we love and close to. I believe that before we can inspire with emotion, we must be swamped with it ourselves; before we can move others to tears, our own tears must flow first.

In life, “touched” or “moved” is important. It is a feeling which connects with our inner soul. There have been many times in my life when I have been blessed by acts of kindness, compassion and extreme thoughtfulness. Whether it is a meaningful gift, kind words or acts we receive, they touch our lives and our hearts so deeply that life, as we know it, is never the same again.

To all those who have touched me in a positive way, I am very thankful indeed. Often they appear right at moments of grief or despair; along they come, like a whirlwind of energy catching me in the vortex and sucking me into their centre in the nick of time.

I can never forget a phone call from Wei Ling, a staff of mine. She called and told me: “Madam, it is raining outside, remember to bring along the umbrella in the store room. Please do not get wet in the rain.” I was deeply touched by her kind gesture. I feel so loved by her.

She has always been so gentle and kind to me all these while. She works with me for nearly seven years. She always makes me feel so good and secured. I am touched by her sincere gestures and expressions of love and care for me, which I will forever remember and cherish. These kind gestures and expressions come out from her heart. I have been motivated to become a better and more understanding boss. This feeling will remain in my heart forever.

There are many friends who have touched me. I always feel warm whenever I recall those who have gone all the way to tell me how much I mean to them. I can never forget my good friend Wenderine. She is a person who always touches my heart with her kind words. When I am down, she is the person who stands beside me supporting me; when I am in tears, she is the friend who cheers me up; when I am overflowing with joy for my achievements, she is the one who is always there to give applauses for my success. I am deeply touched by her.

Remember and appreciate all the words of encouragement, kind acts, love and care others have given us; they shows that there are many people out there who listen and care for you deeply; these words of encouragement, kind acts appear at the perfect moment when you need them the most and make all the difference in your life. I treasure and keep them in my heart forever.

It is really heartening when someone whom you have not met before to come and tell you how the words or something which you had said have caused a positive impact in their life. These words may be something you considered rather small or insignificant when you said them but which are very meaningful to them. Without their knowledge, I also benefit from their sharing; it has also created a positive impact on me; it makes me a better person. I am very touched by what they share and I am motivated to work even harder to be a source of inspiration for others and to touch their hearts. To make somebody touched is a good deed as it motivates people to become better persons.

We have explored all the five letters in the acronym “H.E.A.R.T.” However, I would like to add an “S” to it so that it becomes “H.E.A.R.T.S.” Life would be much more wonderful if it could be uplifted by more hearts. This final letter “S” stands for “Sincerity”. I shall share more on “sincerity” in my next Sunday column.

Live life through H.E.A.R.T! R = Reach out (Mac 21, 2010)

2010-03-21T14:02:00.004+08:00

After exploring the A=Appreciation, we shall move on to R = Reach out. The phase Reach out carries different meanings to different individuals. It can mean move forward or upward in order to touch. Reach out can mean reach outward in space; it may also mean attempt to communicate. My definition for reach up is to support, to volunteer self, to lend helping hands in order to make a difference in a person’s life. Reach out also means service above self.

When I was young, I always asked myself: “What is my purpose in life?” and the answer I gathered was always “To reach out and to serve”. At the age of twelve, I started to ponder in what way and in which area I could reach out and serve the most. I asked my dad: “Papa, what is the meaning of reach out? Does it means caring for others? How can we reach out?” Papa replied, “Give when people need it. Share when people want it.” He continued, “If you light a lamp for somebody, it will also brighten your path.”

Papa told me that we all had a way in which we could reach out to others. When we reach out to others and offer them comfort we will discover a wonderful thing- the feelings of joy and peace that nothing can compare. Nothing else can give the peace and joy that you will experience when you help others, support them, care for them, pray for them, and reach out to them and offering the comfort that they need.

I always remember how my papa sacrificed his time to serve the local community; I saw him giving money or goods to needy people when they came to my house to ask for help; I witnessed how papa help a man who knocked on our door seeking for help one late night. The man was Pak Rahman. He asked my papa to help him as his son was terribly ill at home. My papa responded instantly and went out with Pak Rahman to his house. I remembered that it was mid night. I was quite worried and did not sleep, waiting for my papa to come home.

By the time when he reached home, it was almost seven o’clock in the morning. I saw papa come home with a cheerful face. I asked him: “Papa, are you not tired? You have been out for the whole night.” “Who is that old man and how is his son?” “Why he came to look for you?” I asked incessantly. Papa replied, “I do not really know him well. Anyway, he came to seek our assistance; his son was sick at home and he had no money to buy medicine. He wanted to borrow money from us to buy medicine for his son.”

I asked papa, “Why did you lend him money? What if he does not return to you?” My papa said, “Being able to give and help people is a blessing. We are blessed as we have extra money to help others. There are many people who cannot give because they are less fortunate than we are. If our money can help Pak Rahman to save his son, the money is of great value; we save a life.”

I treasured my papa’s words in my heart - “Being able to give, help and reach out to the less fortunate is a blessing.” Papa told me that we needed not to wait until we were rich to help the poor; they are many ways we can reach out to people. A kind thought and a caring gesture are also ways to help people. Words of encouragement and a sincere sharing of life experience are also ways to reach out to those in need.

When I grew older, I began to see my social responsibilities. When I began to have the ability to contribute, I began to understand the meaning of reaching out better. I recall what Ralph Waldo Emerson has said: If you would lift me up you must be on higher ground. The purpose of life, after all, is to live it, to taste and to experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly fearlessly for newer and richer experiences. By reaching out to others, we are reaching out to our own life destiny. When we help and reach out to those who are in need of help, we are also helping ourselves to grow.

I believe that helping people can be in the form of advice, sharing and guidance. It need not have to be in monetary form. I began doing voluntary work in my community when I was 13 years old together with my late father. Twenty five years later, I still find it an honor and privilege to help others. Currently, as a member of the Fuda Cancer Caring Group, I learn to serve cancer patients by providing them the comfort through advice and heart-to-heart talk. In these six years of serving cancer patients, I become more matured in managing my life. I see life as a meaningful journey.

A friend of mine, Wong Xian Feng from Zheng Zhou in Henan province, China told me, he would like to adopt orphans. He works in foster homes and always wants to be a foster father of homeless children. “There are many homeless children after the devastating earthquake in Si Chuan. I would like to reach out and help them to lead a normal and secure life.” he said. I was greatly touched and inspired by his love for homeless children. I get to understand more about the meaning of Reach Out; it means service above self.

I believe all of us have the ability and blessings in providing a hand to hold and a shoulder to lean on. Let us reach out to as many individuals as we can while we still have the ability and time to do so. As long as we have the HEART to help, to serve and to reach out, let us reach out as far and as wide as we can. I believe, alone we cannot change the world but we can bring hope to others and gain unlimited joy in return. I like to quote a Chinese proverb, “If you want happiness for an hour, take a nap. If you want happiness for a day, go fishing. If you want happiness for a year, inherit a fortune. If you want happiness for a lifetime, reach out and help somebody.”

I shall introduce the letter T in the acronym of H.E.A.R.T next week. It stands for “Touch”. Let us explore together the word “Touch” in my next Sunday Column.

Live life with H.E.A.R.T! A=Appreciation (Mac 14, 2010)

2010-03-14T09:48:00.002+08:00

After exploring the E= Encouragement, we shall move on to A=Appreciation. My understanding towards appreciation is simple. To me, appreciation is a simple gesture. It does not take much time and efforts to appreciate others. The key is to make it a way of living, not merely as a tool to pull out when it seems convenient. Next, communicate it in a way that it is heard.

I always feel that to appreciate, we do not have to wait until everything is done or completed. To appreciate, we need not have to wait until we get it all perfect or to wait until people have done things exactly as we had wanted them to. We can start appreciating life, appreciating others and ourselves exactly as we are, right now.

I believe that, when our hearts are truly thankful, it will come out of our mouth and be evident in our words and in our lives. We will not find fault, instead, we will find something to praise. We will not complain, but rather, we will rejoice.

With an appreciative and thankful heart, we will not focus on what is lacking; we will be filled with all that is good. We will not be resentful because we feel cheated; we will cherish and acknowledge how much we are blessed. The way we live, our attitude and our perspective are communicating something to others at all time.

Perhaps it is good to think and ponder on the relationship that we are in. Do we recall that our partner or friends are always there for us when we need advice and guidance? Do you recall all the wonderful memories we have shared over the years? As for me, I have a few close friends who are always by my side, be it moment of happiness or sorrow. I appreciate what they have done for me. One of them is my very loving godmother, Grace Yong. She is the principal of a tuition centre in Kuching. We have known each other for nearly six years. I always receive her encouraging messages through sms, cards and conversation. She is so kind in providing me the comfort. When I am sick, she will boil herbal tea and send it to my office. To make it hassle free, she even brings along a paper cup. I am always touched by her kind and genuine gesture of love and care. I love her for who she is. I would like to take this opportunity to thank her, thanks for her kindness and thoughtfulness. Her messages warm my heart whenever I travel abroad. I wish to thank her for everything that she has done for me.

Again, let us think about how lovely it feels to have a hug from someone whom we have known and shared our life experience. There are so many people who do not have anyone in their life to share their moments of joy or sadness with and to have the pleasure of a warm embrace.

If we feel we are genuinely being valued and appreciated, we will extend ourselves to whosoever is showing us this appreciation. When we communicate our appreciation effectively, it is a win-win situation for all. However, very often we neglect this fundament to establish healthy and growing relationships.

We cannot fake appreciation. It must come from our heart. If we are not truly appreciative when acknowledging another person, it manifests itself as insincerity. People can notice the difference between sincere and insincere appreciation.

Sometimes, as a way to value those who are close to us, we may have to be accommodative. Look at the larger picture; how have they contributed to our success, joy or well-being? Take whatever time is required to view through the lens of reality, to gain a clear perspective and viewpoints about how they have been of great blessings to us.

We can be assured that our appreciation and gratitude is being heard when our life becomes a song of praise—-realizing the many blessings which we do deserve. Life is a gift. The love we share with others is priceless, and the beauty and wonders of creation we see and experience is a privilege by the grace of the Creator.

How do we learn to appreciate things and people around us? The first thing to do is to appreciate ourselves. I tell myself that:

I appreciate and believe that by allowing myself to move through the greatest challenge and pain, I am able to experience the deepest joy right on the other side.

I appreciate failures, learn from them and see them all as blessings in disguise.

I appreciate that I do not always get what I ask for, but I always get what I really need.

I appreciate that I am a writer and that it has taken me a lifetime to be able to say that and really mean it.

I appreciate my judgment and sense of style, love for beautiful things and my ability to take the ordinary and make it extraordinary.

I appreciate my ability to recognize the Angels in my life. They are those who love me.

I appreciate my very strong will. It makes me determined enough to prove to those people, who have told me that something cannot be done, that they are wrong.

This is how I learn to appreciate myself. When we begin to appreciate and value ourselves, we are already on our way to appreciate others. Let us celebrate who we are, what we do, and the many gifts and talents we have. Self-appreciation is not arrogance. It's an awareness of your own power and it's the key to self-confidence, success, and fulfillment.

There's a saying, "Argue for your limitations and they are yours." Let us instead learn to appreciate and celebrate all the good stuff in others, around us, and in ourselves. When we focus on this good stuff, our world is transformed and we are able to see and experience the GREAT FULLNESS of our lives and we will begin to appreciate our family, our co-workers, our organisation, our city and later our country and the world.

I shall proceed in introducing the letter R in the acronym of H.E.A.R.T. It stands for “Reach out”. Let us explore together the words “Reach Out” in my next Sunday Column.

Esther Law is a director, consultant, trainer, Past Division Governor of Toastmasters International, President for Lions Club of Kuching Host (2009-2010). Esther is also the Overseas Director of Fuda Cancer Hospital, Guangzhou, China. If you have any comments about this article you can contact her at lawleepoh@gmail.com

Live life with H.E.A.R.T ! E = Encouragement (Mac 7, 2010)

2010-03-07T09:55:00.003+08:00

This week I shall write on E, the second letter of the acronym H.E.A.R.T. E stands for encouragement. I always believe that encouragement is a form of emotion booster. It is an act or gestures that brings a true smile to someone’s heart or make him/her feel special and cared for.

There is this theory of bucket and dipper. Each of us has an invisible bucket and dipper in our hands. We can fill others’ buckets or we can dip from them. When we receive words of encouragement from others, others are filling our buckets. When our buckets are overflowing, we, too, become encouragers giving words of encouragement to others. On the other hand, if we continue to receive negative comments, feedback and sarcasm from others, they are using their dippers to dip from our buckets. It saps our energy and undermines our will. However, the secret is that when we fill another's bucket it does not take anything out of our own bucket. The level in our own bucket gets higher when we fill another's, and, on the other hand, when we dip into another's bucket we do not fill our own; instead we lose a little and diminish ourselves. Are you bucket-filler or a bucket-dipper?

If in introducing Albert to a friend, you say, "This is my friend Albert. We have known each other for over 10 years. If you ever need work done around your house, this is the guy to call. I've seen him building and repairing basements, kitchens, roofing and car porch etc. He really does them wonderfully." How do you think Albert would feel? How would your friend feel? Albert’s bucket would be getting filled and your friend would see the respect you have for Albert and would learn something about Albert that would normally not come up in a casual conversation.

Encouragement is a wonderful thing. It can lift you up when you are down. Encouragement does not have to be a grand gesture. It can be kind words, kind thoughts, an unexpected card or letter of appreciation or a private prayer. Any of these four can give hope to the person that you wish to encourage.

Kind words can be as simple as, "You look very nice today!" Have we ever told anyone this? Did you notice their facial expressions when they heard them? These expressions usually consist of a big smile and a twinkle in their eyes. So why do we not do this as often as we can? If we made it our mission to speak nice words thirty times a day, we would leave a trail of happiness in our wake so wide; the ripple effects could spread miles. This would affect us as well.

Imagine that you were Joyce. I met you at a function organized by you. When I arrived at the function, I came to you; I walked toward you smiling and greeted you with a HUG. I went on to tell you, “Joyce, you look so gorgeous; you are always so sweet and kind. Look at the decoration, what a nice decoration it is. I like it. You did a marvelous job.” I believe you would be happy to hear what I had said. Nobody likes negative comments such as “You look ugly”, “You are lousy”, and “Why you are so slow in completing your work.”

Believe it or not, it doesn't take much to give another person a shot of encouragement that feels like a shot of adrenaline. It can be something as simple as a short note left somewhere that says "I prayed for you today." It can be a card in the mail. It can be a voice mail message that says "I was thinking of you.” It takes only a few minutes to do or say it, but it can make another human being feel valued.

In the virtual world of email, conference calls, blackberries and the plethora of technology, we have to learn to juggle many priorities at once. Who will spare time to encourage their co-workers? And yet, many of us are where we are today because of those who made the time to encourage us and to mentor us along the way.

So, why does encouragement matter? What are the benefits of encouragement? I gave it some thought, and have listed here some of the key benefits for everyone involved, both the encouraged and the encouragers. Encouragement helps to build self-confidence; it can create an ally; it provides. About ten years ago, I found myself in an interesting discussion with a friend during meeting. As we reminisced about the "good old days", we remembered some of our early mentors who showed us the ropes, provided us with knowledge and insights. Perhaps one of their greatest gifts to us was the Art of Encouragement. As we reflected on "then" and "now" what hit us between the eyes is how seldom people take time to encourage others today. It seems communication has become more efficient, but is it really effective?

How about sending an unexpected card to a friend? How often do we get "real" mail such as a letter or card from a friend or relative? How nice is it to get a little note from a friend letting you know how much he cares about you and how great you are. These little thoughts do not have to be overly ornate or creative. It is those words of love, care and encouragement inside that mean so much to their recipients.

Let us think of people in our life who have encouraged us along the way. What kind of a difference have they made in our life? Have we taken the time to thank them? If we have not, why not we do it now? Perhaps send them a card, give them a call, or offer to take them to lunch. Let them know how much their encouragement has meant to us. I can guarantee it will make their day.

Prayer is not to be underrated. We can lift someone up to our God and tell Him about them. Ask for His guidance in their lives and to help them in times of hardship. You do not have to let someone know that you are praying for him or her, but I love to know that people are praying for me. I love the fact that they are thinking about me. It bolsters me, comforts me and motivates me.

I encourage you to encourage others. Let your friends know how much they mean to you and how much they are loved. Encouraging one another is what God tells us to do. He knows the impact it has on us.

I know that I am not the best at this, but when I make a conscious effort to lift someone up, I see the positive effect that it has on them in the moment, and possibly the rest of the day. It also has a "pay-it-forward" effect on others they interact with throughout the day. I know how it makes me feel.

So, how do you go about encouraging someone else? We can look for opportunities to encourage, and when we give, we give it freely, sincerely and specifically. We can make it a habit and try to learn and find ways to make it easy. As you go about your day, look around you and notice people. You will find that as you become bucket filler, people around you will begin to fill your bucket as well.

Here you are, my E= Encouragement for all of you. In my next Sunday column, I shall explore the letter A as Appreciation in the acronym of H.E.A.R.T.

Esther Law is a director, consultant, trainer, Past Division Governor of Toastmasters International, President for Lions Club of Kuching Host (2009-2010). Esther is also the Overseas Director of Fuda Cancer Hospital, Guangzhou, China. If you have any comments about this article you can contact her at lawleepoh@gmail.com

Live life through H.E.A.R.T! H=HUG (Part II) (Feb 28, 2010)

2010-02-28T13:43:00.004+08:00

To me, HUG carries many meanings. In Part I of my article on HUG on 14 February I mentioned that HUG was a form action or gesture that transfers love, care, intimacy and concern for others or for ourselves. This week, I will share further my views about HUG. HUG transforms lives. HUG means acceptance, HUG carries values from within. HUG means welcome, HUG means self acceptance, HUG means motivation, and HUG means forgiveness.

A hug is a greeting from the heart. When we HUG others, it means we welcome them, we accept them and we love them whole heartedly. To HUG a person means we accept the person as he/she is, regardless of his/her race or level of education. HUG others equal to encouragement, HUG others also means that we have set hatred aside and we forgive.

HUG means different things to different people. HUG is when we make the conscious decision to have peace with an event or with somebody whom we were judgmental about previously; now we do not feel that way any longer. Instead we accept them as they are and respect their freedom of choice.

Have you hugged yourself today? HUG our inner self and we can come to self realization. HUGGING ourselves in our quiet time can be helpful for our emotion. By hugging ourselves, we would be able to pay attention to our inner voice and learn to trust its guidance. During our quiet time, we may come to realize what works for us and what does not, what is helpful in our world and what is not and what is right for us and what is not. As we recognize these, we can make choices whether to continue to allow them to be a part of our lives or to let them die a natural death.

Hugging ourselves can be helpful in allowing us to relinquish the nagging voices which continuously cast doubts on our decision making skills. HUG can calm and remind us that the choices that we had made were the best we could make under our own steam and under the circumstances we were in.

A hug is a great gift – it is “one size fits all” and is interexchange. When we begin to acknowledge those things or decisions made by others are not within our control, we no longer feel the need to have a negative emotional reaction towards them. Now we can channel our energy for other positive and fulfilling activities of the mind and the heart. No longer do we feel a tide of draining negativity that is sagging our energy away.

Accept others as they are; we are all unique and differ in many ways. Each of us is taking a different path; we do not need to seek others’ approvals neither do they. Knowing this will bring peace to us. Sometimes our paths cross and walk together hand in hand or we may be miles apart. Let there be plenty of tolerance along the way.

To me, in order to lead a happy and fulfilling life, you must accept and HUG our whole self. Hugging our whole self implies embracing all of our energy and all that we have judged and labeled as "good and wonderful” about ourselves and also all that we may have judged and labeled as "bad" or “undesirable”. We must not reject the parts of ourselves which we have labeled as "bad". When we do that, a portion of our own energy and life-force is channeled to suppress those “bad” parts, in order to ignore their presence, to hide them away from us so that we wouldn't have to deal with them. We must realize that, in actual fact when we do this, it creates stress, pressure, inner conflict, anxiety, and guilt in ourselves; it blocks the free flow of energy within ourselves and in time creates mental, emotional and physical problems. It keeps us away from fully experiencing the joy of life and the feeling of an abundance of life-force freely flowing through you, freely expressing through ourselves.

When we HUG or embrace all of our parts, when we invite and welcome them, love them and accept them, regardless of how imperfect or undesirable we may have considered them to be, enormous energy becomes liberated within ourselves. With each part that we HUG and embrace, we become free of some unnecessary burden, of baggage we have been carrying around; we begin to feel lighter, we breathe easier and are more energized. We can accomplish more things and have more energy to invest in creating the life we enjoy living. We feel good about ourselves, we become healthier, and more importantly, we begin to experience inner peace.

When we HUG ourselves, we accept and integrate it into part of us. There is no inner conflict any more. There is no more inner war, no more friction within that creates stress - there is only a wonderful peace in us.

When we look at our life, we may become aware of many things we did or said that we wish that we had not said or done. We realize that we had made many errors and are aware of all sorts of weaknesses and imperfections in us. However, if we look around, we notice that we are not alone. All of us have our own weaknesses and imperfections, all of us have done countless things which we wish very much that to have done differently. Have you ever met any perfect human being? I don't think so. It is ludicrous to expect perfection either from ourselves or from others. As long as we are living, growing and learning new things each day, we can be certain that we will continue to make mistakes.

The only thing any of us can do at any point of time is simply to do our very best. If we commit ourselves to do our very best and accept and love all those parts of us that need more polishing. Like parents who love their small children who are growing and learning, we will live at peace with ourselves and with the world. If we are aware of our own weaknesses and imperfection, we will have more compassion toward other people when we notice the weaknesses and imperfection in them.

If we embrace and accept our human nature, even while we are unfolding spiritually, instead of indulging in feelings of guilt, we will not be tempted to point fingers at others. People who tell others "You should be ashamed for this!" are those who are burdened and tormented with feelings of guilt, and who hope that if they can make someone else feel guilty, they will feel better about themselves. However, they will never do until they learn to accept themselves just the way they are.

When we fully and completely HUG or accept ourselves, then it would not matter whatever others may say or think about us because we are at peace with ourselves. When we have accepted all those things we have judged as "good" and "bad", and when someone point them out, we can acknowledge and admit that we could have done better; we will love ourselves just the way we are. If we feel that we need to change something about our own self, change it when we are ready. We can take whatever appropriate actions without ever crucifying ourselves for the past mistakes we had made. We can move on with our life and keep on doing our best.

Hugging has no unpleasant side effects. It is all natural. There are no batteries to be replaced; it's non-fattening and inflation-proof with no monthly payments. It's non-taxable and non-polluting. So, if you like, take some time to HUG or welcome all those aspects of yourself that you may not feel good or proud of. HUG them as if they were your own little children. Call back and embrace any parts of you that you feel ashamed of, any parts of you that make you feel guilty. As you do, you will become aware that they are transforming and dissolving into pure energy and you will feel more and more alive, free, happy and at peace. As you accept and love all parts of your being and your life, if you are able to HUG others as much as you HUG yourself, you will discover that you have opened the door to miracles, blessings and many wonderful surprises. There is an old saying: “A hug is two hearts wrapped in arms”. Let us HUG one another whole heartedly. Let us do it now!

Next week I will share with you about the letter E in the acronym, H.E.A.R.T. E = Encourage yourself, Encourage others. Do remember to read my column “Touching The Heart” next week.

Live life through H.E.A.R.T! H= HUG (Feb 21, 2010)

2010-02-21T13:38:00.006+08:00

HEART! What a rich word it is! What comes to your mind when you think of the word? Stop for a minute and try to answer the question. What types of feeling does it bring up in you? Could it be love, care, concern, intimacy or simply a pumping heart?

To me the word “heart” conjures out a heart that is pumping lively, a heart that is filled with joy, happiness, love and peace. I always try to live my HEART to the fullest. From the word “heart” I coined the acronym “H.E.A.R.T”, my life philosophy. Let’s see what the acronym stands for:

H – Hug yourself; Hug others

E – Encourage yourself; encourage others

A – Appreciate yourself; appreciate others

R – Reach out to yourself; reach out to others

T – Touch yourself; touch others

H.E.A.R.T has been with me for more than ten years. I find it effective in leading my life to contentment and fulfillment. I feel it is going to make my life even more meaningful if I can share it with you. I am going to talk about it in six parts. The first part is on HUG.

Let us ponder what is HUG? A hug is a form of physical touch and intimacy, not necessarily sexual. It usually involves embracing or holding another person or a group of persons with your arms to show that you like, love or value them. Hug is one of the most common human signs of affection, love and care. It is a form of physical intimacy; it is practiced publicly and privately in many countries without any stigma, irrespective of religions and cultures,. It is practiced within families and also across age and gender lines.

I like to hug people; to me hug is an exchange of love. A hug can be a sign of support and comfort. A hug can also be a demonstration of affection and emotional warmth arising out of joy or happiness at meeting someone. I feel good after hugging people around me; I feel extremely good after hugging cancer patients; I can see that they are filled with joy and hope after each hug.

I believe hug can help healing. Hug has been proven to have health benefits. One study has shown that hugs increase the level of oxytocin, the hormone of love, and lower blood pressure. It can eradicate bitterness and hatred. It can heal the wound between couples or between friends. It can strengthen the relationship among our friends or our workmates.

However, before hugging anybody, there is something to remember before you get yourself misunderstood. In general, we only hug when the person we want to hug has his/her arms out, He may not want to be hugged if his arms aren't out. Unless you have hugged the person before, don't hug him without asking first. In addition, use your best judgment in deciding when and where to hug someone. There are certain situations where one might be embarrassed to be seen hugging with someone else. Try to avoid a hug with a running start unless the person being hugged is aware you are about to do so; if not, this may result in both of you falling over.

I will approach and hug a person based on our relationship. Before we practice HUG, we must understand the meaning of HUG correctly; we do not simply hug a person without knowing the purpose. We have to HUG a person depending on the person’s relationship with us. Hug can be roughly divided into “Family Hug”, “Friend Hug”, “Buddy Hugs” and “Lovers Hugs”.

Family Hugs are important in sustaining the bond among family members. Some of us may feel shy or strange when come to hug our father, mother-in-law or father-in-law. I remembered the first time I hugged my late father. That was after I had learned about hug after a seminar in Miri in 1991. I went to him and hugged him and he was stunt and stiff. He did not know how to respond to me. He stood still and waited for me to finish. I went on to tell him, “I love you daddy. Thank you for giving me such a good life.” He did not say a single word but I could see that he was trying to hold back his tears. He never expected he would get a hug from me who had grown up to be an adult. This was because he had never hugged or even thought of hugging his own father or mother. I could feel that he was very happy since then; he loved my hug even though he would not tell me his feelings. My dad passed away three years ago. I managed to leave him with warm hugs. I am not living in regrets as I had ever filled his life with HUGS. If you have not hugged your family members, especially your parents or in- laws, HUG them now, hug them and hold them tightly with your arms. Trust me! It is going to be one of the happiest moments in your life.

For a “friend hug”, I will normally embrace my friend caringly, sometimes humorously. I will close my eyes and recall things that he/she has done for me. When hugging your friends, you may think about how much you love your friends. Hold him/her as hard as you feel like but never turn it into a bear hug. Try not to clap him/her on the shoulders; some friends may think that signifies you don't like them to hug you. When I hug a male friend, I will approach him genuinely and friendlily and embrace him with a sincere hug. If you are a man and hugging your male friend, you may embrace him strongly, and clap each other on the top of the backs. If it's an emotional moment, lock in the hugging position for a brief moment and do not clap each other’s back.

When come to lover hug, I am sure that we know how to hug our lover in the most loving and natural way. I believe it does not matter who starts it; either one of you can make it just as romantic. When approaching, put our hands on our lover’s shoulders and look them in the eyes. Say how much you love and care for him/her and how much you treasure every second of the time you are with him/her. Then fall into each other and hug with all your heart.

While we are hugging a person, please do not hug him/her too tightly. The best way to judge how hard to hug is to let whoever you're hugging to indicate how they want it by how hard they hug. If they are soft, be soft; if they prefer to hug tightly, hug back the same way (but don't suffocate him/her).

Please do not let go too early, this is because a hug is a powerful way to communicate your care and love for another person and it can make one feel great and greatly improve one’s mood. If someone hugs you, he may want a long, loving hug (especially when they are upset or down), so just go along with it and hug him until he lets go or loosen his hold. If you try to end it early, it may seem awkward to both of you.

I am sure you are aware of the benefits of hugging people. However, there is something to remember before you get yourself misunderstood. Please do not confuse a friend hug with a lover hug. Things might get complicated and awkward. We only hug when the person you want to hug has his/her arms out, He may not want to be hugged if his arms aren't out. Unless you have hugged the person before, don't hug him without asking first. In addition, use your best judgment in deciding when and where to hug someone. There are certain situations where one might be embarrassed to be seen hugging with someone else. Try to avoid a hug with a running start unless the person being hugged is aware you are about to do so; if not, this may result in both of you falling over.

Since HUG is an important way of expressing love and care to one another, let us do it now. The more you hug people, the more loving you become. The more hugs being practiced in our society, the more peaceful and joyful our society will be. Imagine a world that is full of HUGS! I am sure this is a world that everyone desires.

Next week I will share with you “Hug - Part II. What is in it for you?” HUG transforms lives. HUG means acceptance, HUG means forgiveness. Let us continue to explore HUG in my next Sunday column, Touching the HEART.

Laugh, and the World Laughs with You! (Feb 7, 2010)

2010-02-07T13:31:00.003+08:00

How often do you laugh? When was the last time you laughed?

In this highly competitive world, many working adults are greatly stressed; they have targets and deadlines to meet. They look serious and smile has disappeared from their face and laughter seems to be of the distant past; they have forgotten how to laugh. It seems like people stay so stressed out and are on the verge of a blow up at any time.

In one of the seminars I conducted in Guangzhou, China, I threw a question to the floor, I asked: How do you laugh? Not many participants knew how to demonstrate a laugh. One of the participants stood up and told me, we should not laugh out loud as this could be construed as a form of impolite gestures. While this could be true, I think it could be more of a belief. The belief could have been formed because of their culture and how they were brought up. They could have been brought up from a reserved background. They hold back their emotions and keep all the stress and pressure to themselves. This can be good occasionally. However, there are more disadvantages than advantages in holding on our negative emotions.

In fact, we can turn our negative emotions by laughing out loud. We can transform negative emotions into positive forces. We can laugh out loud when we are angry instead of throwing a tantrum, scolding people or quarrelling with them. Laughter is beneficial to us both emotionally and physically. Laughter can be contagious; when someone in a group laughs, very often, the rest of the group will join in and laugh spontaneously. Laughing with others helps us to connect with them, open the door to communication and helps to improve relationship. Imagine living in a society that is full of laughter, no sorrow and no pain. Isn’t it heaven!

Laughter is beneficial to us both emotionally and physically. It relieves stress, stimulates healing, exercises certain parts of the body, and helps in human bonding. It cheers people up; laughter can turn a bad situation to good; laughter can break the barrier in all kinds of controversial situation. Laughter has been found to reduce the amount of stress hormones and help us cope with our lives better. It is often said, "Laughter is the best medicine". When we laugh, the body makes facial gestures and sounds. The body relaxes during laughter. The diaphragm, abdominal, respiratory, facial, leg and back muscles all get a workout. Scientists have found that laughing one hundred times is equal to a ten-minute workout on a rowing machine, or fifteen minutes on an exercise bicycle. Laughter helps to promote healing in the body by lowering blood pressure and increasing blood flow. When we laugh, the production of T -cells that destroy tumors and viruses increase, and more Gamma interferon (which is a disease fighting protein) is released.

There is a special name for the physiological and psychological study of laughter. It is called gelotology. Scientists have discovered that within four-tenths of a second of seeing something humorous, an electrical wave moved through the cerebral cortex of the brain. If the wave took a negative charge, there was laughter. Many areas of the brain are involved in making us laugh. The emotional, the intellectual, and the sensory processing parts of our brain all play a role in stimulating the motor sections of our brain to physically make us laugh.

Smile is the first step towards laughter. Smile more and laughter will follow. Spend time with happy people. I have a staff that is joyful and she smiles and laughs a lot. She lightens the office which leads to a more conducive working atmosphere and increase in productivity. Attend comedy movies and read humorous books. Play non-competitive games and have fun with friends. Poke fun at yourself and people will laugh with you. Laugh, and the world laughs with you.You will feel healthier, wealthier and wiser and even live longer. You will be ready to take on whatever challenges life brings your way. As said E.E. Cummings, the most wasted of all days is one without laughter.

Feel the HEART (Jan 31, 2010)

2010-01-31T10:03:00.003+08:00

It is important to feel our HEART as it is part of the process in transforming us into a better “WE”. I always like to ask participants who attended my talk to raise their right hands and place them on the area of their heart. The purpose of doing this is to remind them that it is very important to connect ourselves with our heart always. Heart is our feeling center, the place for love and acceptance of self and others, for giving and receiving.

I began to believe that there is an electro-magnetic field around our body after I had watched an excellent documentary called “The Living Matrix”. In the documentary, many well known medical researchers worldwide were interviewed. The video documentary suggested that our heart and body operated with the same principles discovered in quantum physics. It has been realized that we are inseparable from our environment, but instead we are in constant interaction with it. When scientists tried to observe the interaction of two minute particles objectively they discovered their presence in the room affected what was happening. This tells us that in spite of the fact that we may feel separated from others but we are not. We cannot really detach ourselves from the consciousness of all that surrounds us.

Medical researches have discovered that the heart, through its pumping action, creates waves which cause impacts on the electro-magnetic field around us. The heart also picks up impressions from this field. An example of this would be sensing or feeling something before it actually registers in our brain. This happens because the heart is the first organ to receive impressions from this field.

To prove this to yourself, pay attention when you are in a room with other people. See if you can sense their mood or feelings even if they do not express them. This is your heart picking up impressions from the field around you. Naturally, if you can read their energy, they can also read yours. Therefore we need to realize that we can no longer hide our true thoughts and feelings from one another.

It has also been discovered that the heart is made up of neuronal cells that are very similar to those found in the brain. What this suggests is that the heart can pick up information from this energy field, process that information through its neuronal cells and send the messages to the brain, which processes them and instructs our bodies to act accordingly.

For a long time people believed the brain was of paramount importance - we think and then we feel. Now it has been said that we feel first, and only then we think. If we believe in this model, then the idea that our brain runs our lives looses some merit. What this research is confirming is that we are all one and all interconnected. Through this energy field in which all consciousness exists, we are in constant communication with one another at all time whether we are aware of it or not. We must realize that we are never isolated from or immune to the electro-magnetic field of consciousness that surrounds us and that our heart is the means through which information, created through intentions and thoughts, reaches us. This is also how people can have knowledge or be forewarned of future events. In the simplest term, it is what we call the sixth sense or intuition.

The more inputs go into our heart center, the more powerful our intuition becomes. Intuition grows in direct proportion to our level of consciousness. With time, we will learn to trust our intuition and find that it proves to be pretty reliable. Touching and feeling our hearts will prove to us that we all have this ability and are powerful creators of reality.

If we believe that our hearts are contributing and responding to this field of consciousness continuously, we need to follow our heart every moment in order to create a new paradigm. We need to stop filtering reality with our old programs.

When we have strong feelings deep within, we can interpret reality for ourselves and realize there is nothing to fear. We will understand that we can create the reality and global consciousness we desire by introducing positive thoughts and ideas into this field. This would be the result of listening and creating with our hearts. As we learn to feel our heart, we make changes within which will manifest as changes in our relationships with others and our planet. We will realize that the heart is not just an organ to pump blood around the body but it is where all actions take place. This shifts our understanding of how we really operate in the world and the importance of being heart-centered.

I have many experiences and I believe they are true. I would like to suggest that each person take a few moments each day to connect with their heart center. Close our eyes and take a few deep breaths and focus on our heart. Look and feel deep within and ask ourselves whether our heart is filled with love, acceptance, and compassion for ourselves and others or is it filled with self judgment and criticism instead?

We will realize we are powerful creators of reality. When we live in the moment, our thoughts and desires manifest almost immediately, so make sure and be clear on what you really want. The universe manifests all our thoughts, so being negative, unclear or undecided can only manifest confusion or something you don’t really want. When we listen with our hearts and are in touch with our feelings, it is easier to be in harmony with ourselves and others. Whether we have the courage to express our true feelings will depend on our willingness to come out of the closet and be who we truly are. We must always remember that we are how we feel; we will get what we feel. If you want your life to be always in a positive mode, change your way you feel. Let us touch our heart always!

Esther Law is a director, consultant, trainer, Past Division Governor of Toastmasters International, President for Lions Club of Kuching Host (2009-2010). Esther is also the Overseas Director of Fuda Cancer Hospital, Guangzhou, China. If you have any comments about this article you can contact her at lawleepoh@gmail.com

Live an Ideal Life (Jan 24, 2010)

2010-01-24T13:11:00.004+08:00

If you are twenty-five years old now and you are expected to live up to a rich old age of eighty, there will be another 55 years or 20,075 days ahead of you. How are you going to live each day of your life? How many of these days will be used to building relationship with your family, friends, co-workers and people around you? How many of these days will be invested on learning new things, self-growth, contributing to the society and making a difference in the world we live? Will you spend time to find out life’s purpose and live a fulfilling life? Or are you going to live each day with worry, anger, fear and frustration?

One great tragedy of our generation is that most people do not pause and think about life. There are people who merely exist but do not live. They do not know and never try to find out the purpose of life and what type of life they want to live. Ask them why they go to school, and they will be astonished by your question. They will tell you that they go to school to study and that will help them secure good jobs. Ask them why they go to work, and they say because everyone goes to work. So they go to work, spending a big portion of their valuable days on work they don't like to do, with people whom they don't want to see, in a place they don't want to stay. And then they complain about being stressed. They attend stress management seminars and learn stress management techniques for a day, go back to work expecting to be able to handle the stress in the workplace. They are stressed further when they find out that the techniques they had learnt do not work.

Whatever we do today is our own decision. We are where we are now because of all the decisions we made earlier. Every moment is a moment of decision. There are moments when we make bigger decisions but we only reach these bigger decisions because of all the smaller decisions we made before. Being late in the workplace is a decision. Do you know of people who are always late at work? Do you realize that these are the same people who blame the traffic, other drivers, and the weather as the causes for their coming to work late? These are the same people who complain a lot, these are the same people who find their days very “toxic”. How we make use of our day is up to us to decide. Every new day is a gift from God. We decide whether to unwrap that gift or let it stay in a corner of the house to be covered with dust.

Deep within us is the desire to live an ideal life. Again, how do we intend to live each day of our life? What are the things which are important to us? When we choose to compromise our most deeply held values, anything we gain by doing so will be of no real use. If we must betray the unique person we are in order to feed our appetite for fleeting pleasures, we have dealt ourselves a tragic loss.

Imagine living a life that is ideal in every way, filled with meaning for the unique person that you are. Keep that vision constantly in front of you and you will surely do everything you can and move toward it. An ideal life is about much more than impressing others with how clever or fashionable we are.

We are the one who decide and creating our life today. Therefore, make it outstanding; make it an ideal life we want to live. The ups and downs of the moment will come and they will go. What will always remain is our passion for living. We are a dynamic expression of a universe that is overflowing with limitless possibilities. Choose to live up to our highest potential. We can learn to focus on our most compelling and authentic desires, for in them we will find boundless energy to achieve. Do truly great things for the world by doing what gives us real fulfillment.

Shift Gear (Jan 17, 2010)

2010-01-17T12:27:00.003+08:00

I remember a few years ago while driving, I was thinking about the recurring theme, event and lesson of life in my daily life. It seemed that each week, there was some kind of thread of commonality that was manifested and recognizable among my clients, colleagues, my child, my family and my life.

The theme, event or life lesson that has been coming up over and over again is “shift” or “change”. We shift gears, we shift our seats, we change our speed when we are in fear, and we adjust our speed when we face uncertainty. We look shifty when we make mistake; at one time or another, we are all “shifters”. We adjust when there is a threat. There are times when we are so stuck in our own reality, mindset, and routine that we need someone to remind us – “Hi! it is time to shift now or you are going nowhere!”

Over the course of our lives, we create mental templates for ourselves. Some of us are “go-getters” while others describe themselves as “followers.” Whatever adjectives we use to describe ourselves, they create little mental templates that we use to form our belief systems and basically, the mindset on how we think and of ourselves and our opinions of others.

Nevertheless, at time when we are faced with a bump in the road or a brick in the wall, how do we overcome these mental templates that we may not have the tools to change the way we think or tackle a new obstacle? This is the time to revamp our internal engines and switch gears as to what we believe, think and feel.

For instance, let’s say we lose our job. We all know too well how much this will affect our lives, family, finances, self esteem and relationships. We try and try to find out the reasons for losing our job but to no avail. To put it bluntly, our situation stinks and we need to deal with it urgently. However, the key to move forward depends on HOW we think about our situation. Another scenario is we have lost a family member. We have to accept the fact that he or she is no longer with us and that we have to adjust our emotion accordingly. We should realize that no matter how loud we cry, he or she can never return. Instead of being sad and hurt, we must learn to shift our gear, adjust our thoughts, accept what has happened and move forward.

We must acknowledge that life is a one-way journey. We are where we are and there is no return. If we do not love the way our life has turned out, we need to stop doing the same things that we have been doing all this while. If our emotion can affect us or affect other people around us, we need to change our feeling and thinking.

There are a few things that we can do to initiate the shift. We can create peace with our past, accept what has happened instead of going against it, and remain hopeful. Tell ourselves: I may have lost my job but at least I have skills to get another job. We can dream about the future: Maybe I can get that teaching job I have always wanted instead of being stuck doing financial stuff which I dislike very much. It is hurtful to lose our beloved brother or sister. However, if we think that he or she is resting in peace now without having to go through all the pains and suffering of their sickness, we will feel better.

We may not have achieved a “physical or aesthetic goal,” but we have created a mindset on making it easier to move forward and go for those goals. For example, by shifting our belief system and reality at the present moment, we are more likely to put ourselves in a positive mindset to move ahead and achieve our heart’s desire successfully.

As for me, I use to be a novice “shifter” years ago, but now I am able to control and shift my gear or adjust my speed when I am feeling down or when things do not turn out the way I wish. I used to have a really crummy day when I found out that things did not turn out the way I wished! As for now, I can accept whatever things that happen in my life, be it happy moments or sad and sorrowful events.

When I face moment of sadness, I will keep quiet. I adjust my thought by accepting the fact. I will tell myself that everything happens for a reason and there is always a lesson attached to it. I must not miss out the chance to learn the lesson. There was an incident that I remember well; I lost my hand phone when I was in Beijing. It was left behind in the taxi that I had travelled in. The moment I realized I had lost my phone, I quickly searched for the phone contact number of the taxi driver. I located it from the printed receipt. I called him; he told me there was no phone left in his car. He had just dropped off a couple after me. I started to recall and remembered that indeed there was a couple who went into the taxi after I had come down from it. There was no chance for me to recover my phone.

I was upset but I recalled a quote from Viktor Frankl’s book “Man's Search for Meaning” which says,”When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” This shifted my thinking immediately. I told myself that luckily I did not bring my new Apple iPhone. If I had brought it with me, I could have lost the iPhone instead of the Nokia E71. I felt good after shifting my thought from negative to positive mode. I learned a lesson from the incident; I must make sure I leave nothing behind when I alight from a taxi. So, every time when I take a taxi, I will make sure to look at where I have just sat carefully to ensure that I have not left anything behind before I get out of the taxi.

So, let us remind ourselves that the next time we find negative mental templates emerging that may perpetuate the ever so popular victim mentality – shift our way of thinking. Switch gears and use that difficult time as a tool to challenge our new mindset and belief system and know that we can do anything if we set our mind to it. We may grind the gears the first time or two, but in the end, we could very well be the “emotion driver”. Remember to shift our gear!

A Real Desire, A New You! (Jan 10, 2010)

2010-01-10T17:37:00.003+08:00

“What is my real desire in life?”, “what do I want to do with my life?” Questions such as these do come to our mind at different phases of our life such as when we were still a young man looking for direction at life, when we are facing mid-life crisis or even for senior citizens who begin to look for a fulfilling or purpose driven life after their children have grown up allowing them more time for themselves.

In his book “The Law of Success” (1937), Napoleon Hill said: “Desire is the starting point of all achievement, not a hope, not a wish, but a keen pulsating desire which transcends everything.” Yes, desire is neither hope nor a wish but a burning aspiration which transcends everything. It is the key motivating factor towards excellence and success at life.

In life, we often do much heart-searching. I am a person who always likes to encourage others to see their own uniqueness and potential. I have found passion in my career; I enjoy understanding the needs of cancer patients and the related management. It has been my desire to live a meaningful and valuable life. I find values in serving the sick and this makes my life fulfilling and contended.

There is a female friend of mine who had served as a bank officer for many years. For most of the time while working in the bank, she was happy, enjoyed her work and performed excellently; it was plain sailing. Then some changes took place within the bank and she was no longer happy. She endured her job rather than enjoying it. Though she grumbled about it in front of me frequently, each time she seemed to push aside her unhappiness and restlessness and told me (or rather herself) that the bank needed her, there was nothing else she could do and she would prefer to stay in her “comfort” zone though she was not happy.

Two years later, she left the bank finally and moved away under adverse circumstances. I met her another two years later. She looked a much happier person; she had started a small business that she had often wanted to. She loved it and enjoyed living in her new location. She told me: “How I wish I had done this much earlier!”

Many a time, frustration, restlessness and discontentment are signals or messages telling us that we are not living a life of our desire. However, we tend to brush them aside and prefer to maintain the status quo. We are ignoring our inner voice, our true feeling and our real desire. In fact, these are messages telling us that it is time for new things and change and time to take action.

Some know their life calling early in their life. However, they are in the minority and many do not. There was a woman who tutored autistic children in high school who later had an autistic child herself. Eventually, she bought a farm so that young autistic adults could come and learn in the setting of a farm. There is also a nun who has helped to open a day care centre for underprivileged children so that their parents can go out to work and earn a living. It is helpful to see how others have responded to their heart’s desire and undergone pains and overcome challenges along the way to live a fulfilling life and a life of purpose. It inspires and gives us insights on how we can do likewise.

What is your real desire in life and how to discover it? Recall things that you really enjoy doing, things that naturally motivate you. They may be your favorite hobbies, special interests or things that you enjoy doing at home or at work. They may also be some voluntary services to the community. One of my mentors told me: “If you reflect on your life and recall your most satisfying and meaningful achievement and experiences, you will discover a common thread among them.” Those satisfying achievement and experiences will tell you the hows and wherefores you found the achievement and experiences particularly rewarding. We must always live like a small bird that is ready to fly out of the cage it is living in. Are you ready to fly? Go all out to live a new “You” with your real desire.

Esther Law is a director, consultant, trainer, Past Division Governor of Toastmasters International, President for Lions Club of Kuching Host (2009-2010). Esther is also the Overseas Director of Fuda Cancer Hospital, Guangzhou, China. If you have any comments about this article you can contact her at lawleepoh@gmail.com

2010! A greater year ahead (Jan 3, 2010)

2010-01-03T16:12:00.004+08:00

2010 is here. What will it bring? Opportunities! As quoted by Oprah Winfrey, “a new year is another chance for us to get it right.” Yes! Every day of the coming year will be filled with opportunities and possibilities. Every day will give us a chance to make our life count, to make a difference, to grow, to learn, to achieve, be the person we are meant to be. It is the day to apply what we have learned from past experience, and to make the world an even better place to live. Now is the time to do something about not just the superficial things, but to deal directly with our challenges.

It is now the third day of the New Year and many people are celebrating and also or maybe has made a list of resolutions. As I reflect on the fact that we will be starting a new year – 2010. Wow, where did 2009 go? I am also very aware of the many individuals and families and friends who are suffering from cancer or other chronic diseases. No matter what stage of cancer survivorship they may be in, it is difficult to think about making "New Year's Resolutions". There is so much uncertainty that goes along with cancer.

However, I do strongly feel that each and every one of us can have hope and optimism. We can be hopeful for small things or large things. I truly do believe we can change our hopes during 2010. I also believe that we should be optimistic.

We do not have to “wish” for a Happy New Year. We have the power to make it a truly happy year, a year of fulfillment and accomplishment for ourselves.

Whatever our plans or goals for the New Year, we must keep them realistic, start with those little steps, compensate ourselves each step along the way with something we love to have and focus on the short term outcomes, each little step along the way. We will finally see the light at the end of the tunnel that will lead us to the success we so fervently deserve; never give up. This can be the year for that New Year resolution to become a reality rather than a dream that never comes true.

Each time when a New Year rolls around, I will sit down to do my New Year resolutions, I always like to reflect back to a lesson taught me by a remarkable teacher by the name of Yu Xiang from Beijing in the year 2004. I took a course on creativity and innovation conducted by him.

He pointed to my ferocious work pace and said, "I notice, Esther, that you are a rather unorganized and indisciplined person."

I was stunned and confused. After all, I was the type of person who carefully laid out my top five objectives and priority activities at the start of each New Year. I prided myself on the ability to work relentlessly toward those objectives, "Your genetic energy level makes up your lack of discipline," he continued. "Instead of leading a disciplined life, you lead a busy life."

He then gave me an assignment. The assignment went like this: Suppose you wake up tomorrow and receive two phone calls. The first phone call tells you that you have inherited $100 million. The second tells you that you have an incurable and terminal disease, and you have no more than 5 years to live. What would you do differently, and what would you stop doing?

That assignment became a turning point in my life, and the "stop doing" list became a regular item of my yearly New Year resolutions — a mechanism for disciplining ourselves on prioritizing the most precious of all our resources: time.

Yu Xiang’s challenge forced me to see that I had been very energetic, but utilized the energy on the wrong things. Indeed, I was on an entirely wrong path. After graduating from school, I took up a job at the Wah Tat Bank, Kuching. I loved the company, but disliked the job. Yu Xiang’s assignment helped me see I was cut out from what I wanted to be and I needed to make a 180 degrees turn. I had to stop doing things I disliked so that I could find the life that I had always wanted to have. I quit my job and went into providing medical care information consultancy work after being appointed as the Overseas Director of Fuda Cancer Hospital, Guangzhou. Eventually I became, with some remarkable blessings along the way, a trainer and lecturer, happily toiling on my work.

Well, from the above sharing, it shows that the start of the New Year is a perfect time to start a “stop doing list” and to make this a must of our New Year resolutions, be it for our company, our family or ourselves. We have come a long way to get to where we are now. Let us make the most out of it. The sparkling new era in front of us deserves more than just half-hearted New Year’s resolutions. Now is the time for true and sustained commitment.

Every day is full of opportunities. The hopes and desires and dreams are there for a reason. The fact that if we desire for it means that there is a unique, beautiful and vital purpose for our life.

Our world at this moment is full of wonderful possibilities. Let this truly be a moment of great beginnings. Make the commitment to live, to give, to love, and be a positive force. Now is our opportunity to live with meaning and purpose. It is time of opportunity for us to make things right. Let us make our new year a real difference and make it a great new year.

PEACE (Dec 27, 2009)

2009-12-27T13:20:00.003+08:00

“What is PEACE?” My six year old daughter once asked me the question. I never thought about it before. What is PEACE? It is very subjective. Everyone may have their own definitions. I believe peace is a feeling, a wonderful and desirable feeling. It sounds so simple yet it is hard to describe. I made several references. From my finding, peace is not a circumstance. Peace does not depend on any particular set of conditions. It can be at any place and at any time. A peaceful world comes from peaceful people. Make a place for peace each day, and a real sense of peace will start to flow from us, right into our world.

Peace is not something that happens to us, nor is it the absence of anything happening to us. Peace arises from who and what we are, and how we choose to be. The world around us can be full of turmoil and strife, and yet we can be at peace in our own heart.

Peace allows us to solidly connect with what is truly meaningful and valuable in our life. When our efforts come from a perspective of peace, they become much more effective. Peace gives great clarity to our thinking and immense depth to our understanding. There will be peace if we know how to communicate. Before we speak, before we act, before we respond, consider a calm and peaceful way to do so.

There is almost always a way to say what we have to say in a peaceful and compelling manner. And when we do, we have a much better chance of being heard and understood. Whatever we have to accomplish, seek a way to get it done peacefully and respectfully. By doing so, we'll pave the way for even greater accomplishments.

When we live and think and act peacefully, we'll find a world of people who are eager to support our efforts. When our life is filled with peaceful moments, our mind is much more positively focused and our work is much more effective.

At times, we may come across a situation whereby we are not in good terms with others and we feel there is no peace. How do we become friends after we have fought with another? How and where we can add real value by introducing a calm and peaceful tone? Even for a bit of peacefulness?

The answer is in a Ndebele tale from Zimbabwe called “A Blind Man Catches a Bird”.

A young man married a woman whose brother was blind. The young man was eager to get to know his new brother-in-law, so he invited him to go hunting.

Brother-in-law: “You are welcome to join me.”

Blind Man: “I cannot see, remember? But if you will help me see, I would enjoy the time together.”

The young man led the blind man into the bush. At first they followed a path that the man knew. Here, it was easy for the blind man to tag on behind the other. After a while, though, the bush got thicker, the trees grew closely together, and there were many places for animals to hide.

The blind man now held on to the arm of his sighted brother-in-law. He told him many things about the sounds they heard around them. Because he had no sight, he had a great ability to interpret the noises made by animals in the bush.

Blind Man: “There are warthogs nearby. I can hear their noises over there.”. “There! That bird is preparing to fly. Listen to the sound of its wings unfolding.”

Brother-in-law: “These sounds are meaningless to me. You have an ability to understand the bush which is beyond me!”

Blind Man: “Let us set our traps.”

They walked on for several hours until they came to water.

Brother-in-law: “You can put your trap here.” The birds will come for water here.”

The man put his trap a short distance away, taking care to disguise it so that no bird would know that it was there. He did not bother to disguise the blind man’s trap, as it was hot and he was eager to get home to his new wife. Any bird could tell that there was a trap there.

When the young man urged the blind man to follow, the blind man came willingly, believing his brother-in-law had disguised his trap. They returned home to their wives.

The next day, the pair returned to their hunting place. The blind man was excited at the prospect of having caught something. The younger man had to tell him to keep quiet or he would scare the animals away. Even before they reached the traps, the blind man could tell they had caught something.

Blind Man: “I can hear birds! There are birds in the traps.”

When he reached his trap, the young man saw that he had caught a small grey bird. He took it out of the trap and put it in a pouch that he had brought with him. Then the two of them walked towards the blind man’s trap.

Brother-in-law: “There’s a bird in it. You have caught a bird too.”

As he spoke, he felt himself filling with jealousy. The blind man’s bird was marvelously colored, as if it had flown through a rainbow and been stained by the colors. The feathers from a bird would make a fine present for his new wife.

Brother-in-law: “Here is your bird. You may put it in your pouch.”

The blind man felt the bird for a moment, his fingers passing over the wings and the breast. Then, without saying anything, he put the bird into his pouch. The two began the trip home. They talked of many hours, of many things, stopped for a rest under a broad tree.

Brother-in-law: “You are so wise. You know so many things even though you can see nothing at all. There is a question that has always troubled me. Can you tell me, why do people fight with one another?”

Blind Man: “Men fight because they do to each other what you have just done to me.”

Ashamed, the young man rose to his feet. Fetched his pouch, taking out the brightly colored bird, he gave it back to the blind man.

Blind Man: “Do you have any other questions for me?”

Brother-in-law: “Yes. How do men become friends after they have fought?”

Blind Man: “They do what you have just done. That’s how they become friends again.”

Peace is what remains when we have surrendered our ego and our fears. Peace is always there, patiently waiting for us to turn our awareness toward it. The peace we seek is always there. It sits quietly and calmly beneath everything else that has been piled on top of it. If we let go of anger, let go of fear, let go of anxieties, arrogance and resentments, what we are left with is the peace that has been there all along.

Peace cannot be forced on anyone, and true peace cannot be forcibly taken from anyone. Peace comes to those who are strong enough and wise enough to choose it, and with that peace comes an abundance of living which is otherwise impossible to know.

I am sure many of us are seeking for PEACE. We regularly make a place for PEACE in our life. We want a place and time solely for ourselves. We can get in the habit of spending some time each day that's not filled with frenzied activities. Make some peaceful moments each day and you'll begin to see more peaceful qualities in the people, places and events around you.

Peace is not something that can be squeezed in between appointments. To know peace is to commit some time to it. We can find a place of serenity and solitude, and just listen. Let go of the need to fill every second with activity. Allow our tension to melt away. Relax our body, quiet our thoughts, and experience how it is to be fully in the moment, with all worries and anxieties far, far behind us.

Let us be strong enough and confident enough to practice peace on a daily basis. We'll quickly make our world a better place.

Now is the Moment (Dec 6, 2009)

2009-12-06T16:19:00.004+08:00

What is your vision for your life? Have you thought about it lately, or ever?

There is some vision, some dream, some goal so absolutely compelling that we cannot help but make it happen. Find it and connect with it. There is a purpose/dream deep within us that longs to be expressed. In following that purpose/dream, we will bring great value and fulfillment to our own life and the lives of those around us.

I have read many inspirational books, listened to motivational CDs and attended many personal development seminars. If not for the encouragement as well as the treasure trove of power - tips and techniques these materials have provided, I would probably still be asking myself what a purposeful life would look like, and how I can have one.

I’m far from being an expert in any of these areas; rather, I come from the perspective of a student who has done the work, taken the notes and attended the classes. It is through this journey that I’ve discovered ways to improve my life, and it is my hope that my experience will help others to do the same.

I recently wrote a Chinese book to help people follow their passions and learn to live an extraordinary life. I’ve been asked why the book titled “Winning in Life Now” rather than just “Winning in Life”. After all, isn’t that what we all want -To be winners throughout this journey of life? I decided to add the word “Now” to stress the urgency with which we must live each day and each moment in order to be truly happy.

Are we ready to start creating a winning life now? Feel the intensity of that purpose. Surrender to it and allow it to drive us powerfully forward. It is never too early and never too late to immerse ourselves in the empowering glow of our purpose. Now is when we can know the overwhelming sweetness of true fulfillment.

Step decisively toward those most treasured dreams that spring from our purpose. Right now, in this moment, fulfill the best of what we know life can be. When we decide to do it, do it straightaway! Give substance to our commitment by acting on it right away.

Purpose is powerful, and yet there is something our purpose must have in order for it to last. That something is real, solid action. Make our choice, and then immediately give power to it by taking the first step toward it. There is always something we can do right away. When we act, we seal the commitment. When we act, we create momentum.

The way to make sure we stay in motion is to get ourselves in motion right away. When the reason for our decision is still fresh in our mind, give power to that decision by acting on it.

It is good to reflect upon thankful thoughts. It is even better to continually put thankfulness into action. The way to be truly and fully thankful for what we have is to put it to use. Abundance produces more abundance when it is exercised.

Life's great and wonderful blessings are not for hoarding. They are for living. What is important is not how much or how little we have. What is important is what you do with it. We won't find richness in the objects of our desire. True richness comes in the living, dynamic expression and fulfillment of those desires.

Be genuinely thankful for our good fortune by applying that good fortune in an authentic, purposeful direction. Make good use of life's goodness, and there is no limit to how valuable it can grow.

Forget about what should or should not be, and just let ourselves be as we are. Let go of the need to need. Feel the reality that you already have enough, and that it is truly magnificent. Do not worry about what will be or what won't be. See and feel the limitless beauty of what it is. Taste the eternal freshness of now. Live fully the boundless miracle of existence.

What we authentically feel now, we feel it always. This moment is the most valuable opportunity we have ever known. Live in joy now. And carry more joy forward as each moment passes.

Always remind ourselves…Now is the time to act; Now is the time to live; Now is the moment of truth; Now is when we can make a difference; Now is when we can bring our intentions to life. In this moment we can choose to step forward. And when this day is over, we will already have made important progress. Everything we need to take that first step is available to us now. It is now up to us to make use of the opportunity. There is no limit to what we can accomplish when we put our effort and commitment into it. Now is the time to make the commitment and start the effort.

We all have a dream, a vision of how a truly fulfilling life can be. Now is the time to make it real.

Keep telling ourselves that it is now, and this ‘now’ makes the difference. Even though you may have experienced an overwhelming amount of disappointment in the past, the past is over and gone. Perhaps you've failed again and again but ‘Now’ it is different. That was then and this is now. Now you have the opportunity to move forward. Now you can do what you've never been able to do before. Now you can follow through on the things you've been unable or unwilling to do in the past. Now is your moment to live. Now is the time to act. Now is when you can truly make a difference. Stand up, step forward and live a winning life. This is the moment you can choose to make everything new. Right now.

Making Difficult Decision (Nov 29, 2009)

2009-11-29T17:21:00.002+08:00

Have you ever noticed how beautiful life is? Look around with thankful and loving eyes and you will notice it. Are you aware how great a difference we can make to the world? Move forward with sincerity and positive purpose, and we will be astonished by what we can accomplish. Do you know all the good things you are capable of achieving? Make use of this very moment to find it out. In fact, the possibilities of finding joy and fulfillment are all around us. Explore them fully now.

We can start with what we have got right at where we are. No matter where we are or whatever circumstances we are in, we can get from where we are to where we want to be! It does not matter who we are or what we are doing. The most important thing is to start NOW.

It is impossible to make progress in our life if we continue to allow ourselves to be held back by decisions we made in the past. We are constantly evolving, growing and maturing in our journey towards our destiny. We must not let cultural, religious or social conditioning cause us to stay on a relationship or continue with an activity, be it business or recreational, that no longer serves our purposes. In fact, that relationship or activity is detrimental to our long-range aspirations and goals.

We can engage one valuable exercise which is called Zero Based Thinking. I learned this method from a book by Brian Tracy. I have used this method in my own life with profound results. Life should be one long journey of learning and Zero based thinking is a great way to speed up that learning process at time when we have to make difficult decisions. The Zero-based Thinking technique is terrific for really focusing on the key issues.

Ask yourself the following question, “Knowing what I know now, would I have gotten involved in this relationship, this career, and this project, etc?”If the answer is “No!” then get out of that situation as quickly as possible. That is Zero-Based Thinking. It is useful and powerful.

When we apply Zero-based Thinking, one important point we must remember is we must be absolutely honest with ourselves. If we are unhappy, we must tell ourselves that we are unhappy. We will not get the results if we try to be positive with our feelings when in actual fact they are not. Our mind will use whatever power it has to keep us in our comfort zone, even if it means staying in a working relationship that is not working and in all likelihood will never work. We have to understand that the fear of admitting one’s mistakes is just human nature. Human beings have a serious tendency to fall in love with their decisions even when it is totally obvious to others that those decisions are wrong. In practicing Zero-based Thinking, we must be brutally honest with ourselves on every aspect of our life.

We must learn to say: I WAS WRONG. According to management research, 70 % of our decisions will turn out to be wrong in the fullness of time. The sooner we realize that we are on the wrong road and admit it, the sooner we will turn back and the faster we will get to our destination of business growth and high profitability.

We must be willing to say these words” I MADE A MISTAKE. ” Face up to our mistake and move towards our desired goal…. cut loses when we realize that we are going in the wrong direction.

We must learn to say” I changed my mind.” Always be willing to change our mind in the face of new knowledge or information that challenges old ideas or the established way of doing things. The faster we change our mind and get back to doing what works, the less stress we will have and the more effective we will be.

Imagine if one of our team members is unreliable, performs his job poorly and won't communicate his progress to management despite many requests for updates. We have a difficult employment decision to make. Should we consider firing him? So when we apply Zero-based Thinking to a decision we ask ourselves:

"Knowing what I know now, would I still recruit him?"

If our answer is "No", then it is a pretty clear indication that it is time for the parting of the ways. We cannot employ staff that we would not re-employ.

I have a friend who bought a franchise business in Philippines and paid a hefty sum for it. Unfortunately it was not an exclusive business and the market had been largely tapped by existing businesses. Though relationships were established with the likely prospects, other “suspects” were just not interested.

The franchisor had poorly-developed marketing systems and offered little in lead generation but expected a monthly franchising fee to be paid incessantly. In the face of such difficult situation, my friend decided to come out with a decision by applying Zero-based Thinking. "Knowing what I know now, would I still buy this franchise business?" Again the answer was "No." The business hardly generated any cash and certainly was not providing a return worthy for the time spent or money invested. While it was a bitter pill to swallow, it was time to accept that the franchise fee was gone. The business opportunity was never there and it had been a bad decision. It would have been an even worse decision to continue wasting time on this failed franchise business and Zero-based Thinking made this clear.

In one of his audio CD, Spike Humer, an international speaker, business consultant, and growth strategist, states that there are only 4 ways to achieve real measurable success. First, STOP doing what you are doing right now that does not bring you any kind of success. Second, START doing what you are not doing right now that will bring you real success. Third, do LESS of what you are doing right now that doesn't bring you any kind of success. Fourth, do MORE of what you are doing right now that brings you real success.

I would say that most people prefer the third and fourth ways. It is easier for any person to start doing more or less of any thing he/she has been doing than to start doing something new or stop doing something old.

Thus in addition to the Zero-Based Thinking question, it will be very helpful for people to ask themselves, A. What are the things I need to do LESS in order to achieve MORE success? B. What are the things I need to do MORE in order to achieve MORE success? Yet the elite will ask: A. What do I need to START doing right now that will bring myself more and more success? B. What do I need to STOP doing right now to bring myself more and more success? I prefer to belong to the elite. What about you?

Success Through Mentoring (Nov 22, 2009)

2009-11-22T16:45:00.004+08:00

My friend, Li Ming, is a very successful businessman from Xi An in Western China. Once, I asked him for his secret of success in life. He told me that to succeed we must find a mentor. “Mentors play an important part in my success. A single conversation with a wise man can be very inspirational and lead to new ideas.” he said. Li Ming believes that we must learn from others instead of wasting our time reinventing the wheel. Some people may appear as innovators, but often than not, they are applying an old proven idea with a slightly different twist. In fact they are merely “standing on the shoulders of giants” by using the understanding gained by major thinkers who have gone before in order to make intellectual progress.

We will never live long enough to discover everything ourselves. Learning from successful people is the shortest route to success. Professor Xu KeCheng, another mentor of mine, gave the same advice. Richard Carswell, author and speaker, mentioned in one of his books that he always learns and emulates others who are the best of all. According to him, this principle is easily traced in areas like music. The 1950’s idol, Buddy Holly, emulated some of the style and music of the legendary Bluesman Muddy Waters, who was influenced by the vocal phrasing and guitar style of Robert Johnson, the icon of American blues musicians. Later, the Rolling Stones copied the style and music of Buddy Holly and named themselves after Muddy Waters’ 1950’s song "Rollin' Stone".

I do believe that if we want to go ahead and embark on unexplored paths to attain our goals, we must be prepared to spend more time, money and endure more frustrations. On the other hand, if we are looking to significantly improve the odds in attaining our goals, then take the straight and shortest path by finding a role model and learning from him.

There is a statement by Robert G. Allen which I find meaningful and would like to share it with you.

I attract successful mentors.
When I am ready, they suddenly appear.
My mentors offer to mentor me and guide me to the success I desire.
My Mentor enjoys sharing with me their most important success secrets.
I feel confident in asking my mentor for advice.
My mentors intuitively know how to help me make the most important breakthroughs.
I am able to glean from the relationship with my mentors exactly what I need to launch me toward the goal that I seek.
My mentors enjoy the relationship with me.
It is exciting to be with individuals who possess the truth that I am seeking.
My mentors willingly share, encourage, and coach me to experience and express my full genius, abilities, talents and resources.
They see more in me than I see myself.
Their gentle, sequential guidance makes all the difference to my accomplishments.
My mentors know to bring out the best in me.
I study them up close and personal – if possible.
I cheerfully apprentice and pay my dues to my “masters,” as they did with their “masters”.
I read, study, and apply all that they have written and that they recommend.
I meet all my mentor’s friends. Colleagues, and loved ones and make them part of my ever-growing million-dollar Rolodex.
My life is made infinitely more meaningful with a mentor-teacher who wants to be in service to my greater growth and development.
I catch my mentor’s passion for life and living fully and richly.
I realize no one has ever achieved greatness who did not have mentors.
I am willing to have great and inspiring mentors throughout my life.
I am learning from my mentors how to be a mentor myself.
I am prepared to mentor others when the opportunity presents itself.
By Robert G. Allen

Robert G. Allen (born May 20, 1948, in Raymond, Alberta) is a Canadian-American financial writer whose real-estate investment and other popular financial books have appeared on the New York Times Best Seller list.

Every successful person has a mentor. Mentoring is a powerful and useful form of leverage. Drawing from our mentor’s experience is the quickest, safest, and easiest way to climb the Millionaire Mountain. Mentors are found everywhere. Any individual we meet can “accidentally” teach us something to advance our cause. Mentors are not necessarily people. Anything that causes us to change our course in life like a life threatening disease, losing a job, a book, or an encounter with an animal – can serve as a mentor. A seminar leader can change our life. We must constantly seek out mentoring relationships. When we find ourselves lacking a certain attitude, awareness, skill, habit, technique or strategy, seek the help of a mentor to show us the shortcut to attaining it.

All world-class achievers have mentors and so must we. They all know the significance of standing on the shoulders of giants. Successful people like Earl Nightingale was mentored by Napoleon Hill, Woody Gurthrie acts as a mentor to Christina Aguilera, President Bill Clinton had President John F. Kennedy as his mentor and Jim Rohn is Tony Robbins’ mentor.

The best place to look for a mentor, however, is right in front of us. Look around us at work; is there an individual whom we admire and respect; someone who has always impressed us with his insight and perceptiveness? Your mentor may be your boss or your boss's boss. It could even be an older individual who is currently not the top executive of your firm, but one whom you know that has lots of experience. Approach that individual and ask if he would consider being your mentor. Depending on the individual, and your current relationship with him or her, your proposal will vary in the amount of details and how it is delivered. At the very least, let him know why you have chosen him and what you hope to learn from the association. If appropriate, you can also discuss the amount of time to be committed and what you will contribute. Don't put off the idea of choosing a mentor. What can you lose? Even if he declines to be your mentor, he will be flattered that you have asked.

Remember, it is not necessary to meet or talk to our mentors person-to-person in order to receive the benefits from them. Many of my personal mentors are no longer in this world! Successful people always help other people. Learn to Ask, Ask, And Ask! Wise people do as what Jesus Christ said in the New Testament “Seek and you shall find, knock and the door shall be open”. It was Buddha who said,” When the student is ready the teacher appears!” We must understand that everybody can mentor somebody and that everybody gets inspired. Have you gotten yourself a mentor? If you haven’t, start now!

Why We Should Forgive (Nov 8, 2009)

2009-11-08T16:42:00.000+08:00

I believe that all of us have been hurt one way or another by the actions or words of others; our friends gossiped about us, our mother criticized our parenting skills, our boss does not appreciate us even though we have tried our best and the disobedience of our children etc. The wounds resulted can leave us with lasting feelings of anger, bitterness, resentment and even vengeance.

So why should we forgive those who have hurt us? I asked my mentor, Master Huang Yuan Chen the question in a seminar that I attended in 1993. He replied that we can choose not to forgive; to forgive or not is our choice. However, if we want to live our life to the fullest, if we truly want to live an extraordinary life of our own dreams, and if we desire to achieve our goals and make a difference in this world, forgiveness is necessary.

Forgiveness can be defined in different ways. In general, forgiveness is a decision to let go of resentment, bitterness, anger and thoughts of revenge. It is the act of untying ourselves from thoughts and feelings that bind us to the offences committed against us. Forgiveness can lead to understanding, empathy and compassion for those who hurt us.

Forgiveness is a commitment to a process of change. It can be difficult and it may take time. Everyone approaches forgiveness differently. One important step is to recognize the value of forgiveness and its importance in our lives at a given time. Another crucial step is to reflect on the facts of the situation and how we have reacted, and how this combination has affected our lives, our health and our well-being. Then, as we are ready, we can proactively choose to forgive the one who has offended us. In this way, we move away from our role as a victim and release the control and power the offending person and situation have had in our lives.

Forgiveness also means that we change the old patterns of beliefs and actions that are driven by our bitterness. As we let go of grudges, we'll no longer define our lives by how we've been hurt, and we may even find compassion and understanding.

Researchers have recently become interested in studying the effects of being unforgiving and forgiving. Evidence is mounting that holding onto grudges and bitterness results in long-term health problems.

Forgiveness research is a relatively new and uncharted field. Prior to 1985, only a handful of studies on forgiveness had been done. During the next fourteen years, less than sixty studies were done. Nevertheless, social scientists have begun to quantify the power of forgiveness in a variety of arenas.

In January 2, 1998, ABC News reported that "studies show that letting go of anger and resentment can reduce the severity of heart disease and, in some cases, even prolong the lives of cancer patients." A study by the University of Montgomery suggests that there is a positive link between attitude towards revenge and criminal behavior. Criminality might be related , at least in male, to the attitudes one holds about revenge and forgiveness which might play a positive role in reducing vengeful responses to perceived transgression that lead to criminal acts.

While I was flying back from Rome, Italy April 2008, I read an article and came across a sentence which read “Forgiveness does not change the past; however it does enhance your future.” I totally agree with this statement.

The negative emotion of guilt manifests as a feeling of unworthiness, destructive criticism, a lack of love, and a feeling of inadequateness and undeserving. People who have guilty feelings often feel that they are unworthy of all the good things life has to offer. Even when things are going well with them, deep down they feel it cannot last. Un-forgiveness predisposes a person for failure. Raised with the feeling that they do not deserve to have good things happen to them, they manifest self sabotaging behavior.

Holding grudges and remaining angry towards people who have hurt us is the major cause of psychosomatic illness. Our anger and antagonism rob us and our life of energy, facilitate illness, and sabotage our efforts to prosper and achieve our goals in life.

For decades, forgiveness generally was discussed in biblical or theological terms, but slowly and surely, the notion that the act of forgiving can be healing for an individual has begun infiltrating into psychology. Like prayer and mediation, forgiveness has turned out to be good medicine. Anger and pain is the price we pay for holding onto grudges. The medical profession is beginning to recognize that holding onto past grievances with hostility as the predisposing cause for many diseases such as heart disease and cancer.

Some people can spend countless hours dwelling on the wrongs done to them, the injustices, the slight, the snubs, insults, hostilities and bad treatment. Top Popoola, a minister and author wrote “Bitterness and an unforgiving spirit can be likened to us taking poison and expecting that someone else would die from the effect. Forgiveness is about setting the prisoner in our heart free only to discover that all along, we had been the real prisoner.” Wow, this is a great saying.

There are three persons in our life that we need to forgive to free our self from the toxic emotions of guilt, inferiority, unworthiness, bitterness and anger. When we let these people go and ditch the past we will feel lighter and will experience a feeling of relief and joy. Then our life will open up to us in a wonderful new way that we cannot even imagine or comprehend.
The first person we have to forgive is our parents. I realize that in family there are no crimes too great beyond forgiveness. We can and we must forgive our parents for every conceived injustice and every act of unkindness. We can rise above the situation and let them go. We have to realize that our parents did their very best for us within the level of knowledge they had at the time. Why should we blame them for anything? We have to remember that by blaming our parents or anybody will draw our attention to the past and prevent us from reaching our goals in life.

The second person we have to forgive is everyone else, every single person that has hurt or betrayed us in any way. The refusal to forgive just one person is enough to seriously undermine or even destroy our opportunities for future success. We do not have to like that person. We simply have to forgive him. If someone has caused us pain, if a lover has broken our heart, if a best friend has betrayed us, forgive them for they have no idea how much they have hurt us. I believe if they really knew how much it hurt you or how long we would hold onto the pain, they would never have done it in the first place. If we do not forgive them, the hurt and wounds they have inflicted on us will get bigger and bigger.

The third person and perhaps the most important and difficult person to forgive is ourselves. Forgiving ourselves is the greatest gift we could ever give to ourselves. We must choose to forgive ourselves for every foolish and hurtful thing we have done. We must learn to recognize that in spite of it all, we manage to survive and that we have developed greater strength and stronger character and compassion as a result of our past painful and hurtful experience. No matter how regretful we are over what we have done, we must not torture ourselves with guilt. Remember that we are not perfect; we have done our best to do whatever we can.

If we want to realize our potential, to develop our full capabilities and to liberate our emotional and spiritual well being and if we genuinely desire to be joyful, healthy, and be completely free from toxic emotions, we must refuse to pay over and over again for the same unpleasant experiences. We absolutely must forgive everyone who has hurt us in any way. We must let go of it and walk away from these negative emotions that will only haunt us. Let go the past, forgive and move forward for joy and happiness.

How do we let go and forgive? There are many methods we can use. One of the methods I used to practise is through imagination. I imagine the person that has hurt me is standing right in front of me. I walk closer to him or her and give him or her a hug. I go on to say, “I forgive you. Let us begin our journey with joyful relationship.”

Forgiveness and especially self-forgiveness is the greatest gift we could possibly give ourselves. It is the most difficult trick in the whole bag of human relations.

Discover for yourself how this process will break through the prison of our own self-imposed limitations allowing us to achieve our goals and enrich our life. Forgiveness is the key to happiness!

Fill Our Life by Doing More in Less Time (Nov 1, 2009)

2009-11-01T16:39:00.001+08:00

Have you ever wondered where the time has gone? In fact, it has not gone anywhere. Time never stops; as soon as one moment is over, another one begins. The problem is that we have not made full use of it. Fortunately, that is a situation we can change right now.

We can learn to get more done in less time. To realize this, we have to become great at time management skills. No matter how disorganized our life had been in the past, no matter how much we had procrastinated and no matter how much we had majored in the minors, we can master the essential skills required to get more done in less time. We can become one of the most effective, efficient and result-driven people around. With good time management many people have gone from confusion to clarity in achieving their goals and from distraction to total focus on what they are doing. This we can we achieve.

Robin Sharma, an internationally-acclaimed writer and an expert on leadership and personality development, says, “Time slips through our hands like grains of sand, never to return again. Those who use time wisely are rewarded with rich, productive and satisfying lives.”

Psychologists generally agree that sense of control is the key to feeling of confidence, power and personal well-being. For us to break the upper limits of our capabilities and achieve all we want in life, we must simply get more done in less time.

If a successful life were a coin, on the front side of it would be our ability to set clear, specific and worthy goals for ourselves. On the flipside of the same coin would be our ability to get ourselves sufficiently motivated and organized to work on our top-priority tasks all day long. We are where we are and what we are precisely because of the choices and decisions that we have made up to this point in our life. Our best thinking gets us right where we are today, nothing more, nothing less.

Most importantly, do not waste another minute regretting at all the time we had wasted in the past. Resolve, at this moment, to put the time we now have to meaningful and rewarding use. Fill our time with actions, love, meaning, purpose, richness and life. To get more done in less time, we must be absolutely clear and specific as to our desired outcome. We will begin to master our time as soon as we begin to focus all our energy on our top priorities, tasks and goals and reduce or eliminate the time we spend on low- value activities that contribute little value to our life.

Most people do not know where they are going and how to get there. They do not have written goals. They have had no idea on what they want to accomplish in life. We must be specific and clear about our goals and objectives in life and focus all our energy on them. Many people try to do too many things but never really become great at anything; they are “jack of all trades but master of none”. Alas, many people who have developed a clear objective often lose sight of it because they are easily side-tracked. As Zig Ziglar says, “most people are wandering generalities rather than meaningful specifics.”

The fact is that most people do not manage their time well. However, in life, we can only accomplish more in less time by being self-disciplined. We can get more done in less time with proper planning and by making better choices and decisions that will enhance the quality of our life.

I normally like to make a to-do list, listing down all the tasks and activities to be accomplished. This to-do list becomes my basic tool for personal management and it is the key to getting more done in less time. It is essential to have a list of long-term, medium-term and short-term goals. I do daily, weekly and monthly plan in advance and list out every step for each task that we want to complete, and finally organize that list in sequence of priority. I usually start my planning on Sunday before the work week begins, and it is always on the night before a new day starts.

Mr. Wilson Lim, my mentor from Taiwan, says that when we make a list of all the activities we must do the following day, our sub-conscious mind will have the opportunity to work on that list all night long while we are sleeping. When we wake up in the morning we will awaken with great ideas, awareness and insights which will facilitate the accomplishment of the tasks on our list. By doing this, we will activate the so called Law of attraction; we will attract into our life the right people, opportunities and resources that we need to accomplish our tasks that are crucial in achieving our goals in the most efficient and effective way.

Based on researches done, less than 3% of people have clear, concise and written goals and they are usually the most successful people in their respective fields. Less than 2% of people rewrite and review their goals on a regular basis- usually at the end of the year. Highly successful people are not necessarily more intelligent than ordinary people. The great difference is that successful people spend their time on high value result-driven activities and unsuccessful people are always working on tasks or spending time on activities of little or no value at all.

In life, it is good and wise to always remember that we can either work to accomplish our own goals or we can work to help accomplish the goals of someone else. A good example is when we are working for others, we help them achieve their goals and at the same time we also achieve our own goals.

The things that matter most must never be at the mercy of the things that matter least. One of the best single words in getting more done in less time is the word NO. Say “No” to any request for our time that will not utilize our time most productively or meaningfully. The numbers of hours in a day is fixed, but the quantity and quality of work done every hour vary. Time is our most precious resource. We are solely responsible for the time we have. The more quality time we have, the more empowered and productive we become. Do not waste our time on trivial matters.

In order to enrich our lives by doing more in less time, we must learn to commit ourselves to becoming better and better at the few tasks that we do that account for most of our results. We can learn to delegate, outsource, and eliminate all those tasks and activities that contribute very little to our results and rewards. The key to high productivity and performance is the sensation of enthusiasm and heightened self-esteem that we experience each time we complete a significant task. This will energize and make us stronger and motivate us to move forward and achieve more in less time!

The Goal Ahead (Oct 25, 2009)

2009-10-25T16:35:00.000+08:00

If our current challenges seemed insurmountable, look ahead toward where we are going. Keep ourselves focused on the goal at the end of the road, and we'll find the strength to move steadily down that road.

There is no secret in achieving success in life. The very first step is to define what we want in life and proceed to achieve it. I believe in planning. All the successes of our life depend very much on the combination of plan, direction and belief.

When we have no concrete goals, life just seems to pass by without a ripple. During this phase of our lives we may be feeling somewhat free, yet empty at the same time. Once we start setting up clear, defined and passionate goals, we will likewise come to acknowledge that we – and we alone – are now fully responsible for our life.

Many of us dream about where we want to go, but we do not have a map to get there. We do not have clear, precise, written down objectives backed up by a clear and concise plan to get there. Goal is just like a map that we can rely on to show us direction to our destination.

Imagine this, your car is packed and you are ready to do your first ever Cross-China trip. It is the dream of your lifetime. The trip will take you from Beijing in the north to Xishuangbanna in the south of Yunnan province, from the surrealistic landscape of Guilin to the Dalai Lama’s palace in Tibet and then up through Xin Jiang.

You get into the car, engage the gear, press on the accelerator and off you go. The first stop is at the ancient caves and Buddha Statue near Datong about 5 hours drive west of Beijing. After shooting several photos with your new Canon D5 Digital Camera and a good night’s sleep you are off the next morning at sunrise. A little while into the morning you need to check the map because you have reached an intersection and you are uncertain which way you should go. You search frantically for it and then realize that you have forgotten to bring the map along. At this point of time you try to convince yourself that you can reach your destination because you know where you want to go. By following your instinct, you may decide to take a right turn or a left turn or go straight. Needless to say you will never reach your destination this way.

I believe majority of people would treat goal setting the same way. We dream about where we want to go, but we do not have a map to guide us to get there. We do not have clear, precise, written objectives backed up by a clear and concise plan.

So what is the difference between a dream or a wish and a goal? A wish or a dream is vague, fuzzy and an in-descript mental pictures of something. It is a fantasy, a someday I will but that some day will rarely arrive!

Setting goals however is more than simply scribbling down ideas on a piece of paper. It needs to be complete and precise much like a map, in writing and backed by a specific detailed plan of action. Goal setting and planning can be fun and easy. It may look difficult but not necessarily so. The answer to the question: “How do we eat an elephant?” is simply “One piece at a time!” We can break down the plan into simple and manageable steps which are easier to achieve. In fact we may find that writing goals down will give us some results.

In order to make goal setting a pleasure rather than a pain, it helps to try taking some outrageous but fun risks. Move out of our comfort zone and apply some proven techniques, you will be surprised that you can attain the desired results with considerably less efforts.

We must first understand that goal setting should not mean hard work; it should mean enjoying ourselves as we turn our vision into realty. Getting what we really want should create enthusiasm and energy, not resistance and negativity.

If we find ourselves faced with goal setting resistance, make a self examination to make sure that we really want the goal. Sometimes, the best approach is the willingness to make another approach. Give ourselves some options. Don't become so focused on the process that we fail to reach the goal. If what we're doing is not working, have the honesty and confidence to re-evaluate and adjust our approach.

I always use a journal to keep track of my goals journey. We may keep daily or weekly records of our progress including affirmations, successes, appreciations for our hard work, rewards, resistances, obstacles, etc. There are a number of paper products and digital media for keeping these records such as notebooks, planners or professional goal tracking software. Develop consistent habits of writing down our thoughts and goal progress. They will propel us forward at a faster pace. Use color pens and have fun! There are many ways we can put our goals on our computer. Scan an inspirational poster or picture into our computer, convert it to a bitmap and use it as wallpaper. We can create a screensaver with our scanned images or just put up a digital “post it” with our goals list. Try sending ourselves an encouraging email. We can also create our own custom posters, personal stickers and printouts using a graphics program.

Often in life, the comfort zone we are in can work against our desire to reach our goals because it holds us in place instead of pushing us forward. Our comfort zone is what makes up most of our life, all the things are familiar to us and we already know how to do them well with all the habits and reliable experiences we’re used to having. To avoid the tendency to stay within our comfort zone, we need to be conscious of our actions and thoughts.

Learn to be honest with ourselves about our progress and whether the goal is still appropriate. If it is, does it need any changes? Are we following through and taking consistent actions? Have the courage to admit our blind spots and be humble. Sometimes we may need to change a belief or habit.

Goals fall into varying time periods such as immediate goals, 30 day goals, 6 month goals, 1 year goals, 5-years, 10-years or longer. Make sure we can accomplish what we want within the time frame we have set.

Learn to practise the3 “R’s” - Review, Reevaluate, and Rewrite. We review our goals regularly and write the steps for the day on your “to do list”. Reevaluate and rewrite our main goals every three to six months. Because things change, we may find that what we wanted a few months ago is not exactly what we want now. Be sure to reevaluate sub-goals, steps and strategies.

In order for us to have effective goal statements, we can learn to use motivating language. To get ourselves passionate, committed and motivated, add emotional language to our written goals. Here’s an example “I absolutely love and am excited about my beautiful new home in the hills” which is much more passionate than “I like my new home in the hills”. We can learn to say it as if it’s already happened. When writing our goal, say it like it has already happened. Put our goals in words and picture that we already have achieved them. For example, “I now have new black E200 Mercedes Benz.” Write specifically and in details, because our sub consciousness manifests things literally, we must write specific detailed goals. Use language that is clear in describing exactly what we want. Write in positive terms rather than negative ones. Examples of positive statements might be: “I am now free of the habit of smoking”, or “I am now a smoke free person”. Negative examples might be: “I don’t smoke anymore” or “I’m not a smoker”.

We start with what we have got right where we are. We must believe that, no matter where and what our current set of situation is, we can reach where we want to be from where we are! In a magazine that I read, the late great Earle Nightingale said,” your problem is to bridge the gap between where we are now and the goals we intent to reach.” It is totally true that the future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. A statement quoted by Martin Luther King Jr., “Take the first step in faith. You do not have to see the whole staircase. Just take the first step.”

People with clear, specific goals backed by clear and specific action plans, and who know exactly where they are going are among the elites on this planet. They are clearly different from the masses who drift aimlessly through life as if their destiny is pre-planned and they can only hope that things will work out for them.

Always remember, we are never too old or too young, too rich or too poor, to direct the energy of our life toward a compelling objective. Life is about making a difference, and that’s something we can do no matter what our circumstances may be. There is somewhere we truly wish to go, something that we sincerely desire to achieve right at this very moment. Take the time to find it out, commit ourselves to it, and make the efforts to make it happen!

Don't Waste Our Life Believing (Oct 18, 2009)

2009-10-18T16:29:00.003+08:00

The words we think and say affect our mind. If we want to be successful, we need to learn to get the phrase “I can’t” out of our mind. The phrase can disempower us. You will be amazed by the amount of negativity that is expressed in this phrase. Individuals constantly expressing “I can’t” become tagged and labeled with a negative attitude.

In one of the seminars I attended in 2003, the trainer used a technique called kinesiology to test people’s muscle strength as they said different phrases. I was called to the stage and asked to stretch my left hand to my left side. The trainer pushed down my left hand to see what my normal strength was. Then I was asked to say out loud something that I believed I could not do, such as “I can’t fly”; I did as I was told. My trainer then pushed down my left hand again. I could feel that I was weaker. However, when I was asked to say,” I can do it,” my hand became stronger.

Paul R. Scheele, Chairman, Learning Strategies Corporation, a person who has facilitated the realization in millions of live to achieve extraordinary results in works, money, relationship and health, said “the phrase “I can’t” is the most powerful force of negation in the human psyche. Therefore, it is important for us to remove “I can’t” from our vocabulary before we can achieve great success in life.”

In 2007, I attended a Psychological course conducted in Kuala Lumpur; we were taught swallow flames. All the course participants were fearful at the thought to swallow flames; we worried that we would burn our mouth and we believed that there was no way we could do it.

Our coach asked us to write down all the “I can’t” that we had such as “I can’t find the perfect game I like”, “I can’t be rich and wealthy” and so on. Then we were led to form a mental picture whereby all the “I can’t” that we had were burnt and went out in flames. Few hours later, 200 over of us queued up to take turn to swallow flames. All of us went through the challenge without anybody getting burnt. That night, we learned that just like the belief that we couldn’t swallow flames without burning our mouth was deception, all limiting beliefs about our abilities were merely deceptions.

Statistics have shown that beliefs in us are more important than knowledge, training, or schooling; 20% of America’s millionaires never studied in college; 21 out of the 222 Americans listed as billionaires in 2003 never got their college diplomas; 2 never even finished high school!

Ralph Lauren, a famous fashion designer, grew up in the Bronx and worked after school to earn money to buy stylish suits. Ralph Lauren went to the City College of New York studying business, but dropped out after two years. After a stint in the Army, he worked for Brooks Brothers as a salesman and created the label Polo, then a necktie business. Ralph never attended fashion school but this did him no damage. He’s now worth $3.6 billion and that’s a lot of neckties.

Another real life example is Li Ka-Shing, Hong Kong self-made billionaire and the Asia’s richest man. He is also the richest Chinese in the world. Forbes ranked him as the 10th richest man in the world. When he was 12 years old, Li and his family fled to Hong Kong when Japan invaded China. When he was 15, Li’s father died and he was forced to drop out of high school to support his family. Li started as a salesman selling watches at his uncle’s store. He soon proved to be a diligent worker; he worked 16 hour days, visited customers during the day and worked at the factory at night. Determined to better himself, Li even found a tutor to teach him English every night.

When he was 21, Li opened a plastic manufacturing company and grew his business by selling high quality plastic flowers. When Li was 30, he got into real estate because he couldn’t renew the lease of his factory and was forced to purchase and develop a site himself. From there, Li diversified into electronics, telecommunications, retails, ports, power and electricity. Li is also noted for his philanthropy. He has donated millions to various universities and disaster-relief.

Of the hundreds of successful people I have met, almost all of them shared that though they were not necessarily gifted or talented in their respective fields, they chose to believe that all things were possible. They learned, studied and practiced; they worked harder than others and that was how they got to where they are now. They turned thoughts into reality by learning the skills and taking actions.

If a college dropout could become a billionaire, we can accomplish anything if we strongly believe that it is possible. When we realize that some great people are college dropouts, we must learn to see that we can start from anywhere and create a successful life for ourselves.

I strongly believe if we are going to be successful in life, we must first learn to have the right attitude and never tell ourselves that we can’t. Check that “I can’t” should not always be our first response. I can is the basic key word to archive success in life. As someone has said “Success comes in cans”.

Gateway to Life's Values (Oct 11, 2009)

2009-10-11T16:24:00.000+08:00

Challenges are difficult to get through. Yet on the other side of challenges, there are always values. The bigger the challenge, the more values we will gain when we get through it. The more challenges we're willing to take on, the more accomplishments we will be attain. When we encounter a challenge, see that challenge as what it truly is. It is a gateway to real and lasting values.

Keep our focus on the values that lie beyond the challenge and we'll surely find a way to get through it. When we have overcome a challenge, come along with the rewards are bigger challenges. In each of those challenges is the opportunity for an even greater achievement. Walk through the gateway of challenge, and far greater things than we can ever imagine can be found on the other side.

It's a waste of time and energy to put a lot of efforts into blaming someone or determining who is at fault because the very fault is a thing of the past, and the past cannot be changed. Figuring out who is at fault will not help to improve the situation. What really matters is not who is to blame, but who is ready to take charge of moving forward.

When we become too focused on who is at fault, we can easily lose sight of the positive actions that can be taken. Once we let go of the need to find out who is to blame, we're much more likely to see the positive possibilities available to us. The thing to be concerned with is not what had happened, but what we're going to do about it. Put our focus not on what should or should not had been done, but rather on the best of what can be done now.

It is senseless in “fighting” battles that were already over. Instead, put our energy into finding and following the best path available to us. Let our thoughts be guided by the best we can do and we'll be creating a future as best as we can make it.

Most people live in a constant state of self denial. After years of just barely getting by, they finally resign themselves to just that -- barely getting by. They give up on their dreams. It is so sad. But it doesn't have to be that way. We can take control of our life and future. Look at what we're doing now. Is it getting us to where we want to be? If not, what are we going to do about it? Are we going to keep living in a state of self denial until it's too late and we finally give up our dreams completely and resign ourselves to an empty life of just getting by? Or will we take control of our life and live life to the fullest? Enjoy making a difference in the lives of others. There's nothing good for being poor, lonely and depressed, and life does not have to be that way. Successful people are people who help others the most. That is what life is all about, isn't it? With all the stress and complexity of daily life, we tend to forget that. When we stop to think about the purpose of our life, is not it about helping one another?

When we were a child, we fantasized of endless possibilities. We were happy and creative and we dreamed of big things. As we grew older we started getting into the "system." Gradually, little by little, day by day, the system began to wear us down and stripped us of our dreams and made us conform to the mediocre standard. Our dreams are still there but they're buried under a thick layer of sludge. Try reaching through all that sludge to touch our dreams again. See how it feels. Imagine for a moment that we can live our life to the fullest and be all that we ever wanted to be and do all the things we ever wanted to do. Just imagine it for a moment.
Welcome each moment, each feeling, and each experience as it comes. When we are constantly fearful of what is coming next or fight it, we will get stuck at where we are. By welcoming each moment, we begin to move forward. Even if the moment is not exactly what we want, welcome it anyway and move on.

Welcome each moment, whatever it might hold and we will surely find something of real value in it. There is always a way to move forward, whatever the circumstances may be. Instead of being weighed down with worry, anger or resentment, let us concentrate our energy doing things that we can do. Rather than being imprisoned by the shortcomings of a particular moment, set ourselves free to live its positive value.

Every moment has its problems, but so what? Welcome them anyway but do not dwell on the problems; before we realize, we have already moved past them. Welcome each moment for the positive aspects it has to offer, and by so doing we'll begin to transform those possibilities into reality. There is a vast storehouse of values within us that is waiting to be unlocked. Every now and then we catch a glimpse of it, and even those brief encounters can truly amaze us. How do we tap into that extensive reservoir of richness in our life? We connect with it by letting go of all the superficial distractions and petty pursuits under which it is buried.

When we focus on things that have no lasting meaning or purpose, we distance ourselves from the true joy we are entitled to. When we pin our hopes on shallow, fleeting sensations, we cover up the beautiful things that can bring us life true joy. Isn't it time to start living with fulfillment and purpose? Haven't we grown weary of running and hiding from the real joy that we know can be ours?

Our life has an immense and unique value. We can choose to make that value even greater. It is overflowing with possibilities. We can choose to expand those possibilities even more. We can choose to transform them into grand achievements that set the stage for greater opportunities.

There is much you have to work with. There is no limit to what you can do as long as you are alive, able to think, to dream, to plan, to act, to learn and adapt, to create and to grow. And deep within it all is a purpose, a meaning, a passion that we are driven to express and fulfill.

Aren't we tired of struggling to pretend to be someone we're not? It's time to live the real WE and enjoy the rich and authentic life that is ours to experience. Cast all those angers, distractions, fears, frustrations and annoyances that come from chasing the empty trinkets the world has tricked us into seeking. Let’s go and unlock the real and lasting values that we know has always lived within us.

Coping With Positive Cancer Diagnosis (Oct 4, 2009)

2009-10-04T16:11:00.000+08:00

“I was completely gripped by fear when I was told that I had cancer. My mind went blank totally; there was no other thought except that of the diagnosis.” said Mr. Arthur Lim, a cancer survivor from Malaysia. “It is normal to get upset and depressed over the positive cancer diagnosis. However, I wish to tell people diagnosed with cancer that it is always good to talk to others about your illness in order to deal with all the emotional problems you may encounter.” he continued.

When we are informed we have cancer, the diagnosis will greatly affect us, our family and friends. Suddenly our future seems bleak and full of uncertainties. We are worried, scared and angry over all the unwanted changes to our life that come with the diagnosis. We are confused and shocked. This is especially true the first time our doctor reveals to us that we have cancer. It is common for people to shut down mentally once they hear the words "You have cancer."

However, we must understand that once we are confirmed to have cancer, it does not necessarily mean that we have been handed down a death sentence. Cancer can strike anybody around us. We will need the support of our family, friends and community as we decide on the type of medic care we will take and how to go through the treatment process. We can join hands with other cancer patients to fight against cancer. We can search for information, share the findings, knowledge and experience, and develop an “action plan” to treat our illness. It has been found that people with cancer who actively participate in their fight for recovery along with their physicians and healthcare professionals will improve the quality of their lives and enhance their recovery.

At present the causes of most cancers are unknown. Some cancers are known to be hereditary. This means if a family member develops cancer, others in the family will have a higher possibility of developing it, too. It is not the question of unfairness that one has cancer. In fact no one "deserves" to have it. A positive cancer diagnosis is hard to accept. When we find out we have cancer, our personal beliefs and experiences will affect how we are going to accept the diagnosis and how to face and manage the disease. In the face of cancer, we may have a closer look at our religious beliefs, our personal and family values, and what we hold most dearly in life. Accepting the diagnosis and figuring out how cancer can fit into our life is very challenging indeed.

After we have been diagnosed with cancer, we may have different emotional feelings such as shock, fear, anxiety, guilt, sadness, grief, depression and anger. We may have some or all of these feelings and different people will handle them in a different way. The first emotion may be shock because no one is ever prepared to hear that they have cancer. It is normal for people with cancer to wonder why it has happened to them and they may think that life has treated them unfairly. They may not be willing to believe the diagnosis, especially if they do not feel sick at all.

We may feel guilty that we had not noticed the symptoms earlier; we would ask ourselves what we had done wrong that brought about cancer to ourselves. We may wonder whether we had exposed ourselves to something at home or at work that led to cancer. We may worry that other members of the family may also get cancer.

We may feel hopeless or sad if we view cancer as a stumbling block to a life of good health and happiness. It is difficult for a cancer patient to feel positive and upbeat, especially when the future is full of uncertainties. The unceasing thoughts on treatment and how life would be shortened by the disease seem too much to handle. Feelings of sadness or uncertainty can be made worse by our experiences with cancer.

We may have a sense of loss associated with the cancer diagnosis and treatment. Cancer can change our sense of self; it can change how we think of our body, of ourselves and of our future. Grief is a normal response as we have to give up what we normally practice and begin to develop ways to cope with the new, unwanted changes in our life. It may take time for us to accept these losses and changes. Sharing our feeling of grief with those who are very closed to us helps greatly.

We may feel angry. Some people may not express their anger and frustration outwardly while others may direct their anger toward family members, friends, or health care professionals. This is usually not done on purpose. When we try to vent our anger on others, let them know that we are not angry with them and that we do not blame them for our disease. We do not expect others to solve our problems--we just want others to listen.

We may be afraid. While some people fear cancer itself, others may be afraid of cancer treatments and wonder how they will get through them. Fear of pain and suffering is one of the greatest fears people with cancer and their loved ones have.

Based on our experience in providing cancer care, knowledge is the best prescription in coping with emotion problems caused by cancer. Knowledge can help lessen fear of the unknown. There is often a great fear of the unknown and uncertainty about what is going to happen. We can learn a lot about the type of cancer that we have, its treatment, and the chances for recovery.

Be our own advocate. Even though people facing cancer cannot change the diagnosis, they can search for reliable and up-to-date information and talk to family members, friends, and their health care team. It is important to work through their feelings about cancer because how they feel can affect how they look at themselves, how they view life, and the decisions they make about treatment.

When we feel stressed or overwhelmed by choices, take a moment to clear our mind, breathe, and make one decision at a time. Begin by getting the information and resources that we need for the next phase of our treatment plan. Avoid projecting the worst-case scenarios for the future. Take one positive step at a time towards tomorrow.

Learn to open up to our family and friends about how they can support us. Often people want to help, but they do not know how to. Offer them specific examples, such as driving us to appointments or preparing meals. Bring with us a family member or friend to medical appointments to help taking notes, remembering instructions and discussing what we have heard from the doctors afterward.

Ask for clarification of terms we do not understand. Ask to see x-rays or scans to get a better picture of our status. If we find we cannot develop a good relationship with our doctor, consider finding another one. Also, always ask for a second opinion on our diagnosis and treatment plan. Stay involved with friends and family members but do give ourselves opportunities to spend time alone when we need it.

Develop a plan with our doctors and care providers that will give us as much control over our life as we can realistically handle. This plan should coordinate medical and psychosocial care to support us in managing our illness and health with the much needed emotional, mental and spiritual support.

Express our feelings, both positive and negative by talking to our doctors, caregivers, and friends. Another good way to vent our frustration or fears is through physical activity like walking or yoga.

Ask our doctors for resources to address any depression or anxiety that we may experience. This is normal and we do not have to suffer from depression and anxiety.

Cancer is stressful. It helps to learn how to trigger a relaxation response in times of stress. The relaxation response is a calm, controlled physical state that may enhance the function of our immune system for a period of time by reducing stress. Consider joining a relaxation or meditation program in our community or engage in activities such as walking, reading and listening to music to enable us to relax.

The National Association of Cancer Survivorship (NCCS) states that we are a cancer survivor from the moment of diagnosis. There are millions of people for whom cancer is a distant memory. Use positive terms, like wellness, hope, and control to counteract any feelings of passivity, pessimism, or guilt. Don’t blame ourselves. Focus on what we can do and control in our life now. Cancer is not an automatic death sentence and the treatments have changed dramatically over the past years. Hope is always there.

We may find a sense of comfort in communicating with others who share our experiences, either in person, online, or on the telephone. Ask our doctors, nurses, social workers or counselors for suggestions.

We must learn to maintain a spirit of hope. Many people have survived cancer, and we can, too. Draw on our spiritual beliefs, cultural customs, and family connections. Talk with other survivors to learn from their experiences. Hope is a motivating factor in our recovery. A positive perspective will help us handle any challenges that lie ahead.

To a large extent, we determine our quality of life. Maintaining a positive and realistic attitude, cooperating with and trusting our health care professionals, and learning about our disease and treatment will help us to thrive on our battle against cancer and not just a cancer survivor.

Remember that cancer may become a part of our life. We may have cancer but it does not conquer us! Coping with cancer is difficult at best. Cancer is life threatening but there is always hope.

Detect Cancer Early (Sept 27, 2009)

2009-09-27T14:42:00.000+08:00

Early detection can help save lives, reduce suffering and cost of treatment in many suffering and cost of treatment in many cancers. Early detection is finding cancer in asymptomatic people (people without symptoms) when it is in the early stages of the disease. Research has proven that specific examinations and test at regular intervals can detect cancer before a person has the obvious symptoms of cancer.

Screening can detect cancer at an early stage. For most cancers, early detection means that treatment is more effective and the chance of success is higher. In the best of cases, lives are saved. Therefore, it is very important to go for cancer screening.

According to the American Cancer Society, "The 5-year relative survival rate for people with cancers for which the ACS has specific early detection recommendations (breast, colon, rectum, cervix, prostate, testis, oral cavity and skin) is about 82%.

The 5-year survival rate is defined as the percentage of people alive at least five years after diagnosis of cancer. The 5-year relative survival rate calculation excludes people who die of other causes. Both rates include people regardless of the type of treatment, if any, they receive.

"The outlook for survival for people with these cancers is greatly improved by early detection, In fact, if all Americans had early detection testing according to ACS recommendations, the 5-year relative survival rate for people with these cancers would increase to about 95%.

Cancer can be detected early in many parts of the body such as breast, cervix, testicular (testis), colon, prostate, oral cavity and skin. Some of these cancers can be found early by self examinations; physical examinations by a health professional or laboratory tests.

The following tests are normally conducted during screening:

1. X-rays - A simple x-ray can show the outlines of lungs, heart, collar bones and ribs. This may help diagnosis of lung and bronchial cancers.

2. Contrast x-rays – This involves the use barium, either as a drink or as an enema, to highlight any abnormalities. Contrast x-rays are used to detect cancer of the gullet (esophagus), stomach, colon or rectum.

3. CT Scan – CT scan or computerized tomography scanning gives a more detailed view of sections of the body and any changes in shape and size. CT scan is often used to detect very small cancers in the body.

4. MRI - MRI, or magnetic resonance imaging, uses a powerful magnetic field in combination with radio waves to create images similar to CT, but without exposing the patient to ionising radiation (X-rays). These images give much more information than other imaging techniques enabling a more detailed and accurate interpretation of the results. This type of imaging can be very noisy as it produces loud thumping and humming noises during the imaging but one can request for earplugs to block out the noise. Because of the magnetic field produced by the MRI unit, patients with any metal implants such as cardiac pacemakers, aneurysm clips, artificial heart valves, cochlea implants, implanted pumps, tattooed eyeliner cannot have an MRI.

5. Mammogram - This is a special soft tissue x-ray of the breast which is used to detect abnormalities. As the breast tissues have to be squashed to take the picture some women find this uncomfortable. Mammograms are used in the screening of all women, whether or not they display any symptoms of breast cancer.

6. Nuclear Medicine Imaging- These imaging scans can be used to look at bones, kidneys, lungs and the thyroid gland. This usually involves an injection of a small amount of radioactive material into a vein. Patients will be provided with a list of do’s and don’ts for 12 hours after the scan.

7. Ultrasound imaging - Ultrasound is a non-invasive investigation of soft tissues and organs in the body using high frequency sound waves to produce pictures of body organs and tissues.

8. Cytological investigations - This test may be performed to collect cells from an abnormality within the body. A needle or a syringe is used to remove cells from a lump, a lymph node, thyroid gland or bone marrow. Cells from the cervix may be collected using a swab (a smear test). Taking these cells can be uncomfortable but it is important to get the right diagnosis.

9. Endoscopy - A tube with a tiny camera and light is used to look at different parts of the body, including the gullet, lungs, stomach and bowel.

10. Surgery - Sometimes it is not possible to arrive at a definite diagnosis without a biopsy. This involves taking a small piece of tissue for testing and is often carried out under a local anesthetic.

11. Blood tests - Blood tests are very common and are usually done to look at how well the organs in the body are functioning.

12. PET-CT - Positron emission tomography - computed tomography (better know by its acronym PET-CT). It is standard imaging tools that allow physicians to pinpoint the location of cancer within the body before making treatment recommendations. It can detect the metabolic signal of actively growing cancer cells in the body and provides a detailed picture of the internal anatomy that reveals the location, size and shape of abnormal cancerous growths.

If one gets a positive result in a screening test, it does not necessarily mean that one definitely has cancer. However, it does mean that one needs t have more tests to confirm whether one has cancer or not. It is important to know what is normal for us and to look out for any changes. If we notice anything unusual, we should see our doctor and have a thorough check if cancer is suspected.

Some tests are done immediately by our GP while others may take longer to arrange as they are more complex and require hospital visits. Results may take a bit of time to get as scans and test reports have to be checked and double checked by the experts.

An appointment is usually made once all our results are available. If we think we should have a particular test, it is important to discuss our concerns with our doctor who will be able to advise us on whether the test is appropriate.

When we see our doctor we tend to forget some of the questions which we want to ask; it is often useful to write them down before we go.

Even if we are screened negative for breast, cervical or bowel cancer, we should still ensure that we go to our doctor if we have any symptoms that worry us. It is easier when cancer is diagnosed at an early stage as treatment is often simpler and more effective. Detecting cancer early can make a real difference.

Sometimes, people put off seeing their doctor because they are worried about what the doctor may find out. However, it is important to bear in mind that advances in cancer diagnosis and treatment have led to real improvements in treatment of cancer over the years.

Many Malaysians are dying from cancer because the cancer is found at the late stages. This is especially true for breast and cervical cancer. With early detection, breast cancer can be found in Stage 1 (lump <2cm)

Overall, the number of people who die from cancer has been decreasing. Half of the people diagnosed with cancer today will still be alive in five years’ time; more than 40% of them will still be alive in ten years’ time. The average ten-year survival rate for cancer has doubled over the past 30 years. For many types of cancer including prostate cancer, melanoma and skin cancer, the number of people who survive has improved greatly.

Death rates of the UK’s three commonest cancers – breast, bowel and lung cancer - have dropped to their 40 years’ lowest level. More than nine out of ten men with testicular cancer are now effectively cured. More than three quarters of children with cancer survive compared with only a quarter back in the 60s. Even for cancers whereby survival rate is poor, the chances of surviving are higher if cancers are diagnosed at an early stage.

The World Health Organisation's International Agency for Research on Cancer (IARC) concluded that mammography screening for breast cancer reduces mortality. The IARC working group, comprising 24 experts from 11 countries, evaluated all the available evidence on breast screening and determined that there is a 35 percent reduction in mortality from breast cancer among screened women aged 50-69 years old. This means that out of every 500 women screened, one life will be saved.

Therefore it is of paramount importance to talk to our doctor once we notice anything unusual about our body and reveal to him any warning signs or symptoms that we may have. There is nothing to lose but everything to gain if we consult our doctor at the earliest instant over these changes, signs or symptoms.

We Should Be Aware of Cancer (Sept 20, 2009)

2009-09-20T14:22:00.000+08:00

Everyone should be aware of Cancer.

Nearly 70,000 new cancer cases were diagnosed among Malaysians in Peninsular Malaysia between 2003 and 2005, This is according to a report released in early 2008 on the incidence of the disease in West Malaysia.

According to The Cancer Incidence in Peninsular Malaysia 2003-2005 report published by the National Cancer Registry (NCR), a total of 67,792 new cases were diagnosed; among these new cases, 43.7% was male (29,596) and 56.3% female (38,196). The annual crude rate for males was 100.2 per cent per 100,000 population, and 132.1 per cent per 100,000 for females. A crude rate is defined as the number of cause-specific events (e.g. deaths, disease cases, individuals at risk) over a specified period of time (e.g. a year) divided by the total population.

Breast cancer ranked highest in the list at 18% in term of incidence followed by large bowel cancer (11.9%) and lung cancer (7.4 %). According to the National Cancer Registry 2002 report, 1 in 5.5 Malaysians are expected to get cancer in their lifetime (1 in 4 for Chinese, 1 in 5 for Indians and 1 in 7 for Malays).

Cancer is defined as the uncontrolled or unregulated growth of cells. The word is derived from "crab" in Latin. In general, one billion cells are required for a cancer lump to reach 1cm diameter or to weigh 1g. This is the limit of detection by imaging techniques.

We usually begin by seeing general practioners (GP) who will ask questions about symptoms that we might have, examine us, and ask us to have some tests done such as blood tests and x-ray. If the GP suspects that we may have cancer, an urgent referral will be made to a specialist. There is guideline to help GPs identify what symptoms could be due to cancer or some other condition.

An urgent referral usually means that the specialist will see us within two weeks. The specialist can carry out other investigations, such as a biopsy or various scans to find out the cause of our symptoms and to plan any necessary treatment.

If our GP thinks those symptoms are not caused by cancer they may still refer us to a specialist for advice but the referral is likely to be non-urgent and it will take longer for us to be seen by the specialist referred.

Knowledge of cancer biology has progressed by leaps and bounds in the last 20 years. The improved understanding of the diseases process of cancer has led to the development of various methods of screening and targeted treatments. Cancer is not one disease but many although there are some striking similarities in how all cancers develop. Cancer is a monoclonal disease; all the cells in a tumor come from only ancestral cell. The tissues and organs of the body are made up of tiny building blocks called cells. Cancer is a disease of these cells. Cells in different parts of the body may look and work differently but most of them reproduce themselves in the same way. Cells are constantly becoming old and dying, and new cells are produced to replace them. Normally, cells divide in an orderly and controlled manner. If for some reason the process gets out of control, the cells carry on dividing, developing into a lump which is called a tumour.

Tumours can be either benign or malignant. Cancer is the name given to a malignant tumour. Doctors can tell if a tumour is benign or malignant by examining a small sample of cells under a microscope. This is called a biopsy.

In a benign tumour, the cells do not spread to other parts of the body and so are not cancerous. However, if they continue to grow at the original site, they may cause a problem by pressing on the surrounding organs.

A malignant tumour consists of cancer cells that have the ability to spread beyond the original area. If the tumour is left untreated, it may spread to and destroy surrounding tissues. Sometimes cells break away from the original (primary) cancer.

They may spread to other organs in the body through the bloodstream or lymphatic system.

When cancer cells reach a new area they may go on dividing and form a new tumour. This is known as a secondary cancer or metastasis.

The lymphatic system is part of the immune system - the body's natural defence against infection and disease. It is a complex system made up of organs, such as bone marrow, the thymus, the spleen, and lymph nodes. Lymph nodes (or glands) throughout the body are connected by a network of tiny lymphatic ducts.

It is important to realise that cancer is not a single disease with a single type of treatment. There are more than 200 different kinds of cancer, each with its own name and treatment.

Cancer can be managed more easily when it is diagnosed in the early stages. Being aware of our body and what is 'normal' for us. Reporting any symptoms of concern early to our family doctors can help to make sure that a proper diagnosis is done.

If unfortunately we are diagnosed with cancer, it can be treated as early as possible.

There are some common signs and symptoms that may alert us to the fact that something not right has happened to us.

Knowing how our body normally looks and feels can help us spot any early changes that could be caused by cancer. We should see our family doctors if we notice a lump anywhere in our body. It can be useful to tell them how long it has been there and whether it is getting bigger or causing any discomfort. Cancerous lumps are often (but not always) painless.

It can be difficult to tell what a lump is just by feeling it, but if our doctors suspect that we might have cancer, they will refer us to the appropriate specialists for further tests.

It is important to remember that lumps and bumps often occur in the body, and most of them might not be cancer.

If we have lost a lot of weight over a short period of time (a couple of months) which cannot be explained by changes in our diet, increased exercise or stress, it is important to tell our doctors. Other symptoms, such as sickness, pain and fatigue also tend to occur when a person experiences weight loss due to cancer.

Symptoms of bowel cancer may include blood in stools (bowel motion).

The stools would usually be dark but they can be bright red in colour. Fresh, bright red blood is usually a sign of piles (haemorrhoids).

We may notice a change in our normal bowel pattern (such as diarrhea or constipation) for no obvious reason.

We might have a feeling of not having emptied our bowel properly after a bowel motion. Some people also notice that they have pain in the abdomen or back passage (rectum).

Changes in bowel habits are not always caused by cancer, but they can be caused by changes in diet, medicines, anxiety, and other medical conditions.

If any changes last for more than a few weeks it is important not to rule out cancer as a possible cause and we should consult our doctors.

There are many medical conditions that can cause 'chesty' symptoms like coughing and breathlessness (for example, infections and inflammations), but in some cases these symptoms may be a sign of lung cancer.

If we have a cough or feel breathless for more than two weeks we should see our doctors. We should also tell them if we have any blood in our sputum (phlegm) when we cough. Laryngitis (inflammation of the larynx) is common and can cause a hoarse voice.

In a small number of people, a hoarse voice may be a sign of cancer of the larynx (Voice box). If hoarseness continues for longer than two weeks, do consult our family doctor.

Any unexplained bleeding is a sign that there is something wrong. As previously mentioned, bleeding from the back passage is most commonly caused by piles but sometimes it can be due to cancer of the bowel or rectum.

Cancer of the worm or cervix causes women to bleed between periods or after sex.

Women who have any vaginal bleeding after they have had their menopause should see their family doctors who will refer them to a gynecologist.

Blood in our urine may be caused by bladder or kidney cancer. It can also be caused by infection. If we notice blood in our urine it is important to go for a check-up. Blood in our sputum may be caused by serious chest infections but can sometimes be a sign of lung cancer. Vomiting blood can be a sign of stomach cancer, although it can also be due to a stomach ulcer. Therefore, it is important to have this checked out.

Malignant melanoma is a type of skin cancer that often starts with a change in the appearance of normal skin. This can look like an abnormal new mole. Less than a third of melanomas develop in existing moles.

It can be difficult to tell the difference between a mole and a melanoma, but any of the changes like colour, asymmetry, border, size, itching, crusting or bleeding should be checked out. Moles tend to be a single brown.

Melanomas often have more than one colour. They may be varying shades of brown mixed with black, red, pink, white or a bluish tint.

Moles are usually regular and symmetrical in shape. Melanomas are likely to be irregular or asymmetrical.

Moles usually have a well-defined regular border. Melanomas are more likely to have an irregular border with jagged edges. Moles are normally no bigger than the blunt end of a pencil (about 6mm (1/4 inch) across). Melanomas are usually more than 7mm in diameter. Itching, crusting or bleeding may also occur in melanomas – these are less common signs but should not be ignored.

It is important to see our family doctors if we have any unusual marks on the skin that last more than a few weeks, or an existing mole which shows any of the above signs.

If necessary they will arrange for us to see a doctor who specializes in skin conditions (a dermatologist) or a surgeon.

This section has been complied using information from a number of reliable sources including; Souhami and Tobias. Cancer and its Management (5th edition). Blackwell Scientific Publications. Oxford. 2005. DeVita, Vincent T. et al. Cancer: Principles and Practice of Oncology (6th edition). Lippincott. Philadelphia. 2001.Clinical Guidelines CG027: Referral for Suspected Cancer. National Institute for Clinical Excellence (NICE). June 2005. Souhami et al. Oxford Textbook of Oncology (2nd edition). Oxford University Press. Oxford. 2002.

Let Us Prevent Cancer (Sept 13, 2009)

2009-09-13T14:15:00.000+08:00

Ria, a friend of mine, she lives in Philippines. She was one patient that wishes to share a lot with the healthy people especially ladies. She always tells me, Esther, remember to take good care of yourself before you fall sick.

Ria used to say “please do not repeat the same mistakes I did before. I am a person that enjoys eating. Meats are my favorite food.” Ria advised me to exercise regularly, because that will keep me healthy.

She regretted for refusing many types of exercises before she was diagnosed with breast cancer. Her right breast was removed ad she underwent a series of chemotherapy. She is well now and back to walk. However, she thought to herself, what if she could have spend a little more time for herself to do exercise and eating healthy food. She may not have to go through all the traumatic treatments process.

She shared with me that she is very thankful to God that she is well now. She wishes to share and advice people for taking good care of their health before any regrets.

World Health Organization has declared that 1/3 of Cancer is a preventable disease and there is good scientific medical evidence to support this grandiose statement.

Many experts have believed that the current epidemic and huge variety of cancer could be eliminated in one generation, by those people willing to incorporate some preventive measures into their lives, especially those willing to start these measures into lives, and those willing to start these measures when they are young.

This whole concept is a great illustration of the pro active/reactive behavior as described by Stephen Cover in his best selling book. “The seven habits of highly effective people”, we can choose our response. We can replace our self defeating attitudes with positive and empowering actions and behavior.

Many features of today's world which have led to this disastrous epidemic of cancer affecting our generation, by making simple changes, starting from young age, we could be part of the movement to wipe out this modern day scourge.

Even though it is impossible to be 100% certain that all of these factors affect cancer, there is a great deal of suspicion about them, and making the changes suggested can only improve our general health, as well as probable reducing the risk of cancer developing at the same time. Ria told me, healthy lifestyle has been recommended for years, and cannot only help reducing cancer but also many more of today's chronic disease like high blood pressure, diabetes and heart disease.

How we live our life can affect our immune system, the production of toxic cancer-creating free radicals, and also make it easier for cancer cells to develop and slip through our body's defense systems.

We can learn to eat as well as we can. The benefit of eating good food have been well demonstrated the world over. One of the major differences between the cancer incidences in various countries is found in the diet of the local population. The people in hunza valley in Pakistan have virtually no cancer; they eat ground up apricot kernels on a regards basis.

There are many compounds in food which we have yet to know and understand or identify that have major cancer preventing actions. It is strongly recommended that everybody should eat plenty of fruit and vegetables- as fresh as possible. Because of the presence of many toxins, spray and other materials in our food, many people believe that we should be moving towards organic food sources, especially fruit and vegetables which are frequently eaten raw or only lightly cooked. Eat in Technicolor; the different colours of fruits and vegetables relate to different anti -cancer compounds.

Accordingly to Ria, it is probably best not to eat too much red meat, but especially do not overcook it. Barbecue is especially bad, creating very powerful cancer-creating products (carcinogens). However, a little red meat lightly cooked, is quite healthy, but as in most eastern countries, the meat should only be a small rather than the major portion of the meal.

We would recommend a reasonably conservation active approach to drinking alcohol. There is strong evidence, particularly in women with breathing cancer, that a high alcohol intake (greater than two drinks per day) is associated with an increase incidence o cancer. It is also associated with an increased incidence of heart failure, cirrhosis of the liver, family violence and traffic accident.

Stress creates free radicals, very few people in today's world do not suffer from stress and we are now appreciating how strong the mind-body relationship is in developing diseases. Stress can create free radicals; it changes our hormones, and causes other changes within our body which make it easier for cancer to develop, and, more importantly to grow.

Most people are stressed. Take time out, eliminate anger, frustration, hatred and move towards a forgiving peaceful craving lifestyle. Do not bottle feelings up inside; they can develop into lethal tome bomb. Find an acceptable outlet for these feelings, if we have a garden, go and dig in it!

Exercise has many preventive actions, including boosting the immune system, helping us to breathe more deeply thereby oxygenating the tissues and keeping us closer to our ideal weight.

We do not have to become marathon runners to achieve these benefits. Just walk regularly in the open air, best of all among the trees or beside the beach where the oxygen level is probably higher. Exercise has been shown to lower the risk of developing breast cancer.

Secondary smoking and cigarette smoking are bad for us. The data is so strong that cigarette and its contained toxins cause cancer to develop in every organ they touch: the lips, tongue, trachea, bronchi, lungs, esophagus and bladder.

Ria had shared with me about an article read by her few months ago, she said, there are a number of simple and sensible actions which can reduce the risk of developing breast cancer. Breast fat stores many of the chemicals and toxins which enter the body. Wearing a bra can stop these chemicals from being flushed out of the breast via the lymph vessels. Having these toxins stagnating in breast tissues, could be a major factor in the development of breast cancer. She went on to tell me, do not wear bra more than 12 hours per day. She read an article about “The Burn the Bra” movement in the 1950’s might have been more a therapy than a fashion fad. There is a book “ Dressed to Kill” the author investigated 4,500 women in the USA, ½ of whom had breast cancer, and the other ½ do not. The results are too striking to be ignored.

She added, breast cancer developed in 3 out of 4 who wore a bra for 24 hours per day; 1 out of 7 who wore their bra for more than 12 hours; 1 out of 152 who wore their bras for less than 12 hours.

In non bra wearing cultures, the incidence of breast cancer in women is similar to men, and when Maori women converted to bra wearing, their breast cancer incidence became the same as that of European women.

Prevention is better than treatment. It is wise to follow the advice from those who have fall sick. Let’s start preventing cancer by living a healthy lifestyle.

Living With Cancer (September 6, 2009)

2009-09-06T12:45:00.000+08:00

Living with cancer often involves a personal search for value of life within the cancer experience. This involves a deepening of personal relationship, a spiritual journey or a general re-evaluation of priorities and aspirations.

Cancer is generally viewed by the public as an incurable sickness. The use of military metaphors, such as “fight” against cancer, suggests that cancer is an enemy to be fought. Within this military vision of cancer, a patient is either cast as a hero or a victim.

In recent personal stories on emergence of cancer, the true nature of the cancer experience is presented as more subtle and complex. The terminology has been changed recently. Examples of the recent terminology used are “struggle” and “survival”. Many institutions look at cancer as a challenge to be overcome rather than a war to fight.

With the changes in terminology, many organizations and institutions begin to emphasize on “living with cancer” rather than defeating cancer.

This acknowledges the reality that although not all cancers are curable, much can be done to relieve cancer patients from the effects of cancer.

Doctors or patients' family can focus on the needs of cancer patients at different stages of their cancer journey.

Learning to understand the personal experiences of cancer patients would help health professionals and patients’ family to work effectively with patients and to improve cancer care services.

In order to provide more valuable care and services to cancer patients, we have carried out research in the forms of questionnaires and interviews.

Talking, caring and understand cancer patients has become our way of life with them. As a result, patients will share with us frankly on how they see themselves as cancer patients.

Maria Theresa Guarino, a lady who possesses a positive attitude towards life. She is a Pilipino. I met her at Baguio City during a medical conference. She used to be a nurse before she got married. She is blessed with two daughters.

She told me that after being diagnosed with ovarian cancer, she remained calm. She sought advice from doctors and proceeded with treatment. She went through a hard and painful time of chemotherapy. She had a total hysterectomy to remove the tumor in one of the ovaries in the General Hospital in Manila.

A year later, she came to Guangzhou and was admitted into our hospital; she came to China because she suffered a relapse.

In her email, she told me that she was looking forward to continue her treatment in our hospital. She believed that she can co-exist peacefully with her cancer.

She wrote, “I do feel very positive; I don’t think cancer will come back; even if it comes back, I’ll challenge it again. I am very positive, I do feel very happy. I feel happier than before. I don’t complain about things like bills to pay or because it’s hot or because it’s raining. I do feel much happier. And I feel much healthier as well. I don’t know why but I feel much stronger than before.”

Maria told me, “Esther, I have planned my journey of living with cancer. I know each new day is meaningful and priceless to me and my family. I must understand, adapt and plan my journey. I know my life plan is being disrupted by my disease. My eldest daughter is studying in the Ateneo de Manila University. I have one more girl aged nine. Because of them, I quit my job. From now on, I have to reschedule my life plan; I want to live my life like before.”

We came to understand how Maria has adjusted her life perspective. She has learned to accept a degree of uncertainty into her life. We strongly believe that it is important to understand their way of living with cancer. It can help us in providing comfort to them.

We learn to gain insights into how cancer patients maintain continuity within their lives in the face of illness. We find that it is useful to understand the overlapping and competing demands on individuals and families as a result of suffering from cancer.

One of the ways to understand the personal experiences of cancer patients is to view these experiences as a series of overlapping calendars. Cancer patient’s calendar can be divided into four series - the life calendar, the personal calendar, the illness calendar and the treatment calendar.

The life calendar represents how they see themselves over the time in terms of relationship and their life events. This can be the matters related to their births, marriage, and deaths. It also encompasses their personal achievements at work and at home, their life goals and future plans.

The personal calendar is the time table of patient’s daily life and including the things they do. The personal calendar is the rhythm of their private life, bound by their sense of themselves and personal responsibilities. It can be their work plan, their dancing classes, their swimming lessons and many others outdoor and indoor programs.

The sickness calendar started with the first effect and awareness of the cancer in them. It includes the experience of symptoms and side effects, investigations, and results, and the continuous changes in life and lifestyle in response to the effects of illness. It is then followed by the development and understanding of diagnosis and prognosis and the nature of treatment.

The treatment calendar begins with the stages of the demands for combination of both conventional and modern treatment of cancer. It includes surgery, chemotherapy, radiotherapy, and advance cancer treatment such as cryosurgery, immunotherapy, photo dynamic therapy and other alternative treatment. The treatment calendar is usually managed by the medical professionals. It is often a series of unpredictable and unforeseen events, including complications.

From our experience, we had noticed one very important point. We can see that patients were striving for their personal aspirations, stability and personal control.

In order to provide good and effective support, patient’s family members has to understand the effects of the illness on daily life (the illness calendar) and the demands of particular treatments regimes (the treatment calendar), This is because the sickness may come to dominate the patient’s life and that of their own family.

After a person becomes a patient, they will enter into a new world of their experience with cancer. They have no choice but to learn to conquer, endure and live with cancer.

Therefore, it is always advisable for the cancer patient to live their life as normal as they can. If the patient is well enough, they can keep up with their daily routine. This includes to work, spending time with family and friends, taking part in hobbies and even going on trips.

In the planning of the calendar, it is useful for the cancer patient to use these questions to think about how they want to spend their time.

How do I want to spend my time?
What makes me feel happy?
What types of things do I enjoy the most?
What types of things do I like the least?
Who do I like to be with?
Who makes me laugh?
Is there something I want to do that I've never tried?

Many patients discovered that they have more energy when they take part in physical activities such as swimming, walking, yoga, and biking. They found that these types of activities help them keep strong and make them feel good.

Even if patient has never done physical activities before, they can start now. They can choose something they think they like to do. They can do some exercises even if they have to stay in bed.

Some people with cancer often want to get back to work. Their jobs not only give them an income but also a sense of routine. Work helps them feel good about themselves.

However, certain group of people might find that their boss and co-workers treat them differently than they did before they had cancer. In order to overcome the doubt and nervousness, they must learn to understand that their bosses or co-workers may say nothing because they don't know what to say and don't want to hurt their feelings.

I was told by a patient from Kuala Lumpur, he told me that he was nervous about going back to work. He did not know how to tell his supervisor and co-workers about his condition. He told me that he knew his supervisor and co-workers would be supportive, but he was afraid that they would think he was no longer able to do as good a job as he used to.

Sometimes people with cancer can try new, fun things that they have never done before. For instance, they may have always wanted to ride in a hot air balloon or go deep-sea fishing? A young man with cancer put it this way,

"Often we patients fill up our lives with meaningful activities and neglect the frivolous outlets that keep us sane."

Cancer patients may find it helpful to look beyond their treatment and think about what they want to do when they feel well again. Many patients find it helpful to set goals and well plan their personal calendar. Setting goals gives them something to think about and work toward.

Goals and calendar can also help patients focus on what they want to achieve in their weekly plan, yearly plan, and into the future. As one Singaporean with cancer said to me, "I decided I would travel to Europe when my therapy was over. I used my treatment time to research the countries I wanted to visit. I bought a new camera and figured out how to use it. I even brushed up on my French!"

Goals and calendar can also help the patients get through the hard times. In fact, many cancer patients had done much better than our doctor expected because they lived their life with a positive attitude.

It is wise for people with cancer to "put their house in order." Think about making a will and talk about end-of-life choices with their loved ones. They may also want to put their photos into albums, write down the family history, and sort through some of the things they own.

“Putting their house in order” is not the same as giving up. In fact, it is a way that people with cancer can live each day to the fullest and think about the future. Many of them are living each day to the fullest by staying involved in the duties and pleasures of their daily life; and making plans for the future.

Through the process of communicating and interacting with cancer patients, I have learned to understand the meaning of living with cancer. Living with cancer is not only means looking at death but also how to live the rest of our life regardless of whether it is long or short.

"I Want to Live On..." (August 30, 2009)

2009-08-30T12:35:00.000+08:00

“I want to live on! I am too young to die at this age…”

Every time I recalled a female patient by the name of Chan Chuen Chun, I am reminded to live my life to the best I can. I do not want to leave this life with regrets.

I first met Chan and her family in Kuala Lumpur. When I saw Chan, I thought I was meeting a six-month pregnant woman. She suffered from breast cancer with liver metastasis. She was very frail and her face yellowish. Though she was wan and sallow, she still portrayed a very beautiful look. She dressed up properly and had her lip touched up with pinky lipstick.

She came to see us in Kuala Lumpur during a medical talk organized by the Long Life Magazine. She waited for her turn to consult our hospital’s oncologist. When it came to her turn, she walked into the room in tears with the help by her husband. When she came near to the oncologist, Prof. Xu, she held his hand and said to him: “Doctor, I do not want to die; my doctor had declared that I have only one more month to live but I do not want to believe what he had told me. I want to live on; I love my husband and our daughter. I do not want to leave them. I want to live on…”

I was in tears; I empathized with her and shared her sorrowful and painful feeling. I could imagine how hard she had tried to fight for her life. I was sure that she wished to do more for her family if she had the chance to do so. She wished to live longer to accomplish what she had planned for her daughter’s future and her family. Unfortunately, she was caught in the life’s hardest challenge. I could feel that she was trying her very best to live on.

Her medical record showed that she was diagnosed with breast cancer at the age of 39; she had undergone surgery and radiotherapy. Nine months later, she had bloated belly; she went for medical check up and it was confirmed she had multiple liver metastases. Doctor could not operate on her due to her frailty. She and her family members were informed that she had hardly a month to live.

The news was a dead sentence. They were desperate and frantically seeking treatment to treat her. They cried, they prayed and they tried all they could to no avail. No doctors dared to perform treatment for her.

At their time of despair, a reporter referred her case to us. After going through the medical report, Prof. Xu was not optimistic either as he also held similar view as the local doctors.

When Prof. Xu was about to tell the family his professional opinion, Chan’s family members were in tears and pleaded Prof. Xu not to give up on Chan. Prof Xu was very touched by the love that Chan’s husband had shown for her; he did not give up on his wife and had tried his very best to help her.

Prof Xu’s heart went out to the family and he boldly agreed to take up the challenge to help Chan. He was touched by their determination in fighting the war against cancer till the end.

For any doctor, treating patients with terminal diseases is the most challenging task. Nobody can guarantee the outcome. What if the treatment fails? How will the family react to such an outcome?

Chan was admitted to our hospital in Guangzhou on 3rd June 2006. She was given non-invasive treatment such as cyrosurgery, vascular interventional therapy, immunotherapy and prescription of both western and Chinese medication. I visited Chan in Guangzhou on the third week of her treatment.

She was happy as her abdominal distension had subsided; her cancer was under control. She said to me: “I am very thankful to the doctors and nurses as they did not give up on me. I can feel that they are doing their very best to save my live. They treat me with parental love and they care for me.”

“Suffering from cancer changes my perspective on life; I give thanks for every new day that I have and I learn to prioritize my life.” Chan said.

Chan lived her life with dignity and pride for each day she had. To her, each additional day was a bonus and a blessing from God. She treasured and valued each new day.

Chan had an extension of ten months of her life. During those ten months, she managed to spend quality time with her family; she left her daughter with the most memorable moments; she left this world without regrets.

I miss her. She was one patient that showed me the value of life. Life is precious! Life is priceless! I begin to see it is impossible to win a race without venturing into it; it is impossible to win a battle unless we dare to go to war.

To the question of our life, we are the only answer. To the problems in our life, we are the only solution. Each of us is fearful of cancer and do not wish it to happen to us. If we are found to have cancer, we just have to accept the fact, face it and fight it. We either win or lose the battle. Probably we have to go through a difficult and challenging time before we overcome it; the disease may go into remission but it may strike again and the battle is eventually lost. Fighting for survival is a human’s instinct. Every cancer patient hopes for recovery.

Therefore in the event we are met with cancer, our top priority is to win the battle. There is no compromise under whatsoever circumstances. We must be determined to move towards the goal of defeating cancer.

In our fight some sacrifices have to be made before we reap the fruit. The fruit may be in term of a complete recovery or the slowing down of the progression of cancer or at the least, reduction in the sufferings.

Once we have made up our mind to fight on cancer, we have to prepare and equip ourselves for the battle. Tan was the real life example; she had made herself a HERO in fighting against cancer.

She had won herself ten additional months to live. To many people, 10 months may be too short, but to Chan, the additional 10 months of her life were the most precious and memorable moments that she could ever had. I salute her fighting spirit against cancer. I believe that she had rested in PEACE forever! I wish to tell her, “Thank you, Chuen Chun, you have enriched my life.”

Count Our Blessing (August 23, 2009)

2009-08-23T11:40:00.000+08:00

On 24th July 2007, Huang Chuncai, the China’s “Elephant Man” had his first operation to remove part of his crippling tumours drooping from his face at Guangzhou Fuda Cancer Hospital, China. It was a complicated but successful operation. The wound from the operation healed well.

On 7 January 2008, before his second operation, I went to visit Huang. He could hardly speak to me; the only way he could communicate with me was to use his hands and expressed his feelings through eye contact.

I remember very well how Huang held my hand tightly. He pulled me to sit beside him. He looked at me, with no facial expression, but I could understand him. He kept holding my hand and he was trying to let me understand how grateful for what we had done for him. “After the second operation, can you please bring me to tour Guangzhou and see the beautiful world around?” he asked me. My answer to him was a definite ‘yes.’ “We will bring you to tour Guangzhou city after your operation.” I replied.

After I came out of the room, I started to reflect on my life. I felt deeply sorry for people who made so many complaints and excuses in their life.

We have a tendency to complain; we complain about our life, we complain about our family, we complain about our jobs, and we complain about anything that we are unhappy about.

Let’s look at Huang Chun Cai. He is 34 years old. He carried the humongous tumor with him for nearly thirty years; the tumor got bigger as he grew older. His tumor weighed about 20 Kilogram. The weight of the tumor was equivalent to that of a 6 years old child. He did not complain much about his tumor. Instead he accepted himself as who he was. He told the editor from Channel 4, England,” I have no choice but to accept who I am. I cannot question my mother; I cannot ask why she gave me such a look. My mother had never wanted this happened to me. She has no choice too. I know my mother is in great grief. She sympathies with my condition. Besides feeling sorry, she can do nothing. Instead of feeling sorry for myself, I might as well be happy and just be who I am.”

The Channel 4 film editor went on to ask him “How do you face the people in your village?” He replied “I am who I am; I help my parents to take care of their small grocery shop. The people in my village treat me as a normal person. They never run away whenever they see me walking on the street. But I have no chance to see the city; my parents will never bring me to ride on the bus. This is because they are worried that I may scare away many people in the bus.”

“What do you wish to do after you have recovered from your major operation?”

“I wish to help my parents to work in the farm. They are getting old; I wish to take care of them. I wish to show my gratitude to them as they are the ones who always take care of me. All this while, I hardly work, because my facial tumor grows bigger with time. Whenever I walk, I have to use my two hands to carry the tumor. Whenever I want to eat at the dinning table, I have to put my tumor on the table. It hinders me from moving around. Sometime, I do feel very sad, I want to help my parents, but I cannot.”

Huang possesses beautiful personalities; he could have complained about his life, but he did not. He learns to understand. He could have ended his life by committing suicide because of his abnormal outlook, but he did not. He accepts who he is. He could have portrayed a negative mindset but he did not. Instead he has a positive outlook on life and lives his life to the fullest.

DC Cordova, a motivational teacher of mine from New York met Huang in Guangzhou. She could not stop crying after meeting Huang Chun Cai in person. She told me that she had called her mother and shared with her mother about how she felt. She promised her mother that from then on, she would never complain to her mother that she was not beautiful.

My life perspective changes after knowing Huang. I tell myself that if Huang can, so can I. I should not complain but count all the blessings I have in life. We are truly blessed for what we have in life. Comparison with Huang, I should feel contented with what I have. I should be thankful for having a pleasant look. I should be thankful for who and where I am today.

I begin to realize that the less complaints or grouses we make on life, the more pleasant and enjoyable things we will experience. Life is full of obstacles; do not let them stop us. Just get over with them and move on. Do not be dreadful or being put off by them.

Too often, we define our lives by the bad experiences we have in life. That will limit us and keep us negatively focused. Stop for a moment and recall all the things that are right with our life. Look at the positive side and be sincerely thankful for what we have.

Gratitude is the cornerstone of abundance. In order to attract more blessings that life has to offer, we must truly appreciate and be grateful with what we already have.

We have, within ourselves, all the wealth and abundance that we will ever need. All we have to do is recognize it and put it to use. And that starts with focusing on the positive.

Ask ourselves: what do we enjoy about life? When are we the happiest? What do we do better than anyone else we know of? What gives us a sense of satisfaction? What is our passion? What would we do if our resources were unlimited?

Answer these questions, and we will find the things which we seek in life. Appreciate the things that we have; count our blessings.

Life is All About Choices (August 16, 2009)

2009-08-16T11:23:00.000+08:00

For Hong Siew Hui, a 21 year old girl who used to be called as the “Elephant Girl”, her life definition is all about choices. She chooses to live; she chooses to accept who she is; she chooses to move forward; she chooses to live life to the fullest.

When I first met Hong Siew Hui in her house, I was sad to see she had to bear with a big tumor on her face for years. I just could not imagine the pain she had gone through in the past 18 year and the great courage she had to have to live with all the strange looks or expressions on people’s face when they see her.

She told me that she wanted to live a normal life; she wished to further her study in university. I was very impressed and touched by her positive attitude and determination to pursue to live life to the fullest despite her disease. She is a person who lives with strong determination. She does not care about how people look at her.

I meditated on what she had shared with me. I was in tears. I pondered about her situation. I thought and asked myself, “If I were Hong Siew Hui, would I still live on? If I were Hong Siew Hui, would l I go to school? If I were her, would I have the courage to lead a normal life?” The answers would most probably be “NO”.

I believe many people will say “No “to themselves when they come to a seemingly hopeless situation like Siew Hui. Many people would choose to shy away from the society. Many people would choose to give up in the face of an insurmountable challenge.

As for Hong Siew Hui, she was very determined, she had made her own choice, and she wanted to live on. She did not give up. She believed that when there was a will, there was a way. She did her very best to find ways to solve her life challenges. She sought help from the media to assist her to find a suitable treatment to remove her facial tumor.

The news on Siew Hui’s predicament was published on the local media on the 17 March 2006 with the headline: “Elephant Girl seeking medical advice”. I came across that catchy headline on that very morning. I was shocked to see the picture of Siew Hui. I went on to read the news. The father told the press, “I am very thankful to all the people who wish to donate money to help my daughter. However, I hope very much that the public could advise me which hospital would be able to provide the right treatment for my daughter. Ever since she was four years old, we had been seeking treatment for Siew Hui to no avail; no doctors dare to operate on her.”

At that moment, I had a strong compassion for Siew Hui; I wanted to help her! I was certain that a hospital that I knew of in China would be able to treat her. I supplied the information through the reporter who covered this news. That was how we get connected.

The Doctor came to visit Hong Siew Hui in her house in Kedah. Medical examination was carried out immediately; a fund raising committee was set up. One and a half month later, Siew Hui went to Guangzhou, China for treatment. She was in China for nearly six months. She underwent cryosurgery successfully to have her facial tumor removed. She returned to Malaysia without the facial tumor in December 2006.

Hong Siew Hui is currently studying in the Universiti Utara Kedah. She told me that she wanted to be a professional accountant. I am very proud of her; she knows what she wants in life. With her determination and courage, she has made herself a “life winner”. I strongly believe that she can excel in life. She will be one that is going to touch many people’s life.

From the journey that I had sailed through together with Siew Hui, I learn that, life is full of choices. The choices we make are choices depend on how we view life and how we want our life to be. We must learn to see that life is full of hope, love, joy, achievement and fulfillment. Life will be what you see it to be.

2009-08-03T17:54:00.001+08:00

Quality of Life

2009-03-12T09:56:00.001+08:00

The quality of your life is determined by the quality of your thoughts and the quality of your actions.

If your thoughts are petty, cynical and vindictive, your life will be filled with frustration and regret.

If the actions you take are the minimum needed to get by, the you'll always be just barely getting by.

When your thoughts are positive and expansive, your actions bold and determined, you will live with abundance and fulfillment.

Quality of life is not based so much on what you have. Rather, it depends on how you choose to view, and what you choose to do.

Think of every moment as an opportunity. Act with purpose, direction, enthusiasm and commitment.

Every little thought, every little action, combines to determine the quality of your life.

Every day is a chance to create, by what you think and what you do, the best person you can be.

Make a gift

2009-03-09T19:52:00.000+08:00

Those who achieve are those who give. The greatest leaders are the leaders who are most devoted to service.

Every encounter, every challenge, every relationship, every situation is an opportunity to give of yourself. Each day brings with it new ways to create value for the people around you.

Think of the individuals you most sincerely admire. You'll see that they all make it a habit to give of themselves to life.

It is not always easy to give of yourself. It takes discipline, commitment, creativity, humility, preparation, effort and resilience.

What it brings is true fulfillment. Give your best to each moment, and you fill the world with rich meaning.

Do the work, make the commitment, and discover all the good and valuable things you have to give. Make a gift of who you are, and be amazed at what you become.

Continued success

2009-03-08T15:57:00.000+08:00

When momentum is on your side, use it. When you're going strong, keep going and become even stronger.

Don't let your success stop you from continuing to succeed. Before the goal is accomplished, have another goal ready and waiting to take its place.

Each accomplishment opens the door to many more opportunities. Each success paves the way for even greater success.

When the job is done, celebrate the victory by setting your sights even higher. You've firmly established a positive pattern, so keep it going and improve upon it.
The value you've just created can now be put to productive use. Just imagine what is now possible.

Great accomplishments are built from small successes. Keep the momentum going, and there's no limit to what you can achieve.

mummy and natasha

2008-11-02T14:35:00.000+08:00

What a Joy

2008-02-20T04:27:00.000+08:00

What a joy it is when we disagree with each other. For it gives us the opportunity to better understand.

What a joy it is when an unexpected problem arises. For in that problem is a valuable lesson to be learned.

What a joy it is to experience discomfort. For discomfort is how it feels to grow stronger.

What a joy it is to live in a world filled with challenges, difficulties and obstacles. For there is always a reason and a way to make a positive difference.

What a joy it is that the road ahead is an uphill climb. For where it leads is all the way to the top.

The Value of Forgiveness

2008-02-19T08:24:00.001+08:00

Forgiveness can indeed be difficult. Yet in the long run, it is far easier to forgive than to live with resentment or continuing retribution.

Through forgiveness, you can move away from the pains of the past. With forgiveness, you can achieve real freedom.

There are always opportunities to benefit from the value of forgiveness. You can forgive yourself, you can forgive others, and you can forgive even when you don't know exactly who to forgive.

Because forgiveness is not about who is to blame or who is at fault. Forgiveness is mostly about letting go, completely and permanently, within yourself.

Forgiveness is recognizing the reality that what has happened has happened, and that there's no point in allowing it to dominate your life. Forgiveness refreshingly clears the slate and enables you to move positively forward.

Carrying around a load of resentment can be an enormous and unnecessary burden. Forgive early and often, and you'll considerably lighten your load.

Worries and Needs

2008-02-18T23:22:00.001+08:00

What if half the things you thought you needed, you didn't really need at all? Imagine the freedom of letting them go.

What if half the things that worry you so much were really no cause for concern? Think of how much more positive and productive you could be.

Some of your needs and your worries have some basis in reality. Yet they can easily become blown far out of proportion by your thinking.

You can choose to put them in their place. You can choose to simply let them fall away and to put your energy into those things that truly matter.

This is a great day to begin living with positive, creative intention. This is a great day to go beyond the limitations that your mind has previously convinced you to accept.

Open your eyes to the abundance that is yours. Focus more energy on your best possibilities and bring your own special joy to life.

To Give

2008-02-17T04:23:00.000+08:00

Whatever you desire for yourself, desire it for others as well. That will help to take you beyond the constraining influence of your ego.

There is nothing of any value to be gained by taking from others. For anything you take away from someone else can just as easily be taken from you.

Instead, choose to become the living embodiment of that which you wish to have. Give energy and focus and action to your dreams, and those dreams will come to life all around you.

The more people who benefit from your positive thoughts and efforts, the more quickly those efforts will bring valuable results. To experience great abundance, be a channel through which that abundance can flow.

Make a positive difference that extends into the lives around you. Create value that goes beyond you.

It is by giving that you make room to receive even more. Seek to give what you wish to have, and it will surely become real for you.

LEARN to LOVE

2008-02-16T07:21:00.001+08:00

Learn to love challenge, and you'll fill your life with accomplishment. Learn to love effort, and your skills will grow more valuable with each passing day.

Learn to love making a difference, and doors will quickly open for you wherever you go. Learn to love giving freely of yourself, and you'll receive more fulfillment than you ever could imagine.

Learn to love being the authentic person you are, and everything you do will be infused with integrity. Learn to love whatever work you're doing, and that work will bring abundant rewards.

Learn to love beauty for beauty's sake, and you'll discover a wealth of it in places no one else would even think to look. Learn to love unconditionally, and there will be no limit to what your love can accomplish.

Learn to love life just because it is, and each day will be a grand new adventure. Learn to love the moment you're in, and you'll find richness in every direction.

Learn to love the possibilities, and you'll make your way to whatever you seek. Learn to love no matter what, and you'll discover what a miracle you truly are.

Joy

2008-02-15T05:20:00.001+08:00

How is it possible to know joy? It comes when you simply allow it.

Joy requires no special conditions. You can experience joy in the smallest of moments as well as in the most magnificent situations.

Even in times of sadness and loss, there is room for joy. That joy, melancholy as it may be, comes from the realization that your sadness means you sincerely care.

See joy as something you give rather than something that has to be created for you. Understand that joy is a choice you can make at any time, and you will experience it in abundance.

Put joy into what you do, and you will do it better. Give joy to your relationships, and they will grow strong.

Joy will come when you let it. Let joy flow freely through the moments of your life, and the rich value it gives will always be yours.

Truly shine

2008-02-14T16:36:00.002+08:00

Do something difficult, something that will stretch you, something that will take you past what you already knew you could do. Choose a challenge that requires time, effort, dedication and commitment, then see it through to completion.

The most valuable experiences are not those that come easy. The things that mean the most are the things into which you put the most of yourself.

If life seems too empty, invest more of yourself in it. Nothing brings fulfillment until you put yourself into it. That requires effort. And the more rigorous the effort, the more fulfillment it makes possible.

Imagine how absolutely invigorating it will be to look back with satisfaction on a difficult and challenging job well done. Imagine the extraordinary level of confidence with which you'll then be able to look to the future.

What a blessing it is that life can be such a challenge. For it is in working through those challenges that we truly shine.

Revealed Vision

2008-02-13T04:29:00.001+08:00

You may not consider yourself a visionary, yet you most certainly have a vision. It is a grand and powerful vision, and it is unique to you.

How do you know what it is? It probably won't come to you in some dazzling epiphany. Most likely, you'll come to know and understand your vision through your frustrations.

Yes, the things which frustrate you form a clear and compelling indication of your most deeply held vision. Frustration comes when the reality of the world does not live up to your expectations. Frustration comes when you know, deep inside, that there must be a better way. And that puts you directly in touch with your vision.

In your frustration, your vision is revealed. But wait! There's more. You also get from your frustration the energy and the burning desire to follow that vision. Are you frustrated? That's great. Listen to what your frustration is trying to tell you, and allow its built-in motivation to get you going.

Interruption

2008-02-12T22:15:00.001+08:00

When you find yourself beginning to feel overwhelmed by negativity, you can always choose to break the pattern. Stop whatever you are doing, and for three of four minutes focus your mind on thoughts of gratitude, acceptance and peacefulness.

Breathe deeply, and relax the muscles throughout your body. Reflect on how very fortunate you are to be alive and aware in this universe that's overflowing with positive possibilities.

Give yourself a peaceful break. Give your spirit the opportunity of resetting to a more positive perspective, and it will.

In a few short moments, you can easily and naturally break free of any negative pattern in which you may have been caught. You'll be vastly better positioned to effectively respond to whatever life sends your way.

Instead of acting out of anger or frustration, fear or anxiety, you'll be able to choose your actions based on your own positive purpose. Instead of being caught up in the grip of negativity, you'll be calmly and firmly in control.

When the negativity starts to get overwhelming, choose to interrupt it with a positive, peaceful break. You'll find it can make a profound and positive difference.

Life

2008-02-11T01:18:00.001+08:00

There is a richness to life that cannot be exhausted. In every moment it is here.

In the smallest details you can find the most magnificent beauty. In the most ordinary moments, you can know the extraordinary experience of being.

Consider the warm golden glow of sunlight as it falls upon autumn leaves. Let the thought of such unassuming beauty bring peace into your heart.

Feel the cool, crisp mountain air as dusk falls quietly upon the land. And let the experience energize your spirit.

Your life is more than making judgments and accumulating trophies. Let yourself remember how truly magnificent it is to simply be alive and aware.

Let your heart be filled with the richness that is your life. For the more you touch it, the greater that richness will grow.

Peace Now

2008-02-10T08:17:00.000+08:00

You don't have to travel to some remote mountain retreat in order to experience peace. You don't have to convince all the other people in your life to be peaceful in order to experience peace.

You don't need to resolve every conflict before you can experience a deep and abiding sense of peace. You don't have to solve every problem in your life before you can enjoy being at peace.

To experience peace is very simple and always available to you. To experience peace, gently let go of all else and allow peace to fill your awareness.

Peace is always there, ready for you whenever you choose to let it be a part of your life. Choose often to fill your moments with peace and the positive power will resonate throughout your whole life.

Peace requires no special preparations or conditions. Peace asks only that you allow yourself to fully know and experience it.

The more you experience peace, the more you'll want to express and to spread it in all that you do. Let peace continue to fill you, and it will soon overflow into the world in which you live.

Lighten your load

2008-02-09T21:16:00.000+08:00

Be firm about what matters and flexible about what doesn't. Your time, your energy, and the moments of your life are far too precious to waste.

There is nothing to be gained, and much to be lost, by fighting and agonizing over trivial matters. In such cases, even when you win, you lose.

If something truly makes a difference to you and your world, then put the best of yourself into it. If it doesn't really matter, then quietly and calmly let it go.

Choose not to let the little, meaningless things get to you. And you'll free up enormous resources for successfully dealing with the truly important things.

Imagine how it would be if fully half of your frustrations were to suddenly disappear. Know that you can easily and naturally make that happen.

Decide today to let all the silly, trivial matters just float right on by. With a greatly lightened load, you'll then move faster ahead than ever before.

Keep Going

2008-02-08T18:16:00.000+08:00

When you've reached the goal you've chosen for yourself, set your sights on an even higher objective. And keep going.

When things have not worked out the way you planned, learn the valuable lessons that the experience has to offer. And keep going.

The key to meaningful achievement is not in how clever you are or how lucky you are or in how much advantage you can gain over others. The key is to keep going.

When other people give you encouragement, insight and assistance, thank them for their help while offering your own special value to in return. And keep going.

When others seek to block your every effort, raise yourself up to where you can clearly see beyond their petty, shortsighted attempts. And keep going.

Whatever may come or go or happen or fail to happen, there is always a way, some way or another, to keep going. You will get wherever you wish to go when you consistently choose, in each moment, to simply, thankfully and gracefully keep going.

Celebrate Chinese New Year

2008-02-07T01:09:00.000+08:00

Make today a celebration of the good fortune you have to be alive and aware and able to make a difference in your world. You will pass through this day only once, so fill it with joy while you're here.

Imagine traveling for hundreds of years through darkness and silence, and then suddenly arriving at where you are right now. Get out and explore the magnificent landscape that's filled to the brim with possibilities.

See the colors, taste the flavors, feel the warmth and texture of it all. And delight in the truly awesome ability that you possess to make it even better.

Every important occasion calls for a joyous celebration. And what could be a more important occasion than life itself on this very day?

Make every moment, every thought, every action into a celebration. Whatever you find yourself doing, do it with a joyful heart.

And see how many others you can infect with your joy. For the more you think about it, the more you know that this is truly a day to celebrate.

Listen to your Inner Voice

2008-02-06T23:14:00.000+08:00

Sure, the task is difficult, the road is long, and the challenges are great. And yet, somewhere deep inside, you know you can do it.

Your outer thoughts and words may complain loudly about the trouble, frustration and annoyance. Yet your innermost thoughts know that what is best is to move ahead with it, despite all the trouble.

Listen to that inner voice, the one telling you that yes, you can. Listen to that inner voice, the one reminding you that yes, you must.

That inner voice can give you valuable perspective, for it is not distracted or dismayed by the events of the moment. Certainly it's useful to pay attention to the moment, and it's also important to keep the big picture in mind.

And when you measure the challenges of this moment against the big picture of your life, you'll know that you can handle those challenges. When you view the opportunities of this moment within the big picture, you'll know that your efforts will be richly rewarded.

Listen to that inner voice, the one that's saying yes to life.

Grow into the Chanllenges

2008-02-05T21:13:00.000+08:00

When a new challenge arises, you might think that you need to first acquire some new skill or knowledge or resource in order to deal with that challenge. Yet in every case, you can begin with something you already have, and then steadily grow into the challenge.

Along the way you will most certainly acquire new skills, develop new knowledge, gain access to new resources. That is a big part of the value of challenge.

Yet the best starting point is where you are. The sooner you begin, the sooner you will grow strong enough to move successfully through whatever challenge you face.

There is a path that leads directly to the most positive outcome you can imagine. And the first step on that path is right in front of you.

No matter how imposing the challenge, no matter how ambitious the goal, you have what is necessary to take the first step. And once you're on your way, you'll find and develop what you need to continue.

Move confidently forward in the direction you know you must go. Start with what you have, and you'll grow into whatever you need.

Every moment counts

2008-02-04T17:17:00.000+08:00

With your actions, prompted and guided by your thoughts, you are always creating something. On this day, in this moment, the life you are living makes a real difference in one way or another.

It is an awesome power, and yet it can be difficult to comprehend because it is usually so spread out over time. The little, seemingly meaningless things you do from moment to moment combine together to create the life you live.

The most magnificent achievement you could imagine is, at its heart, built upon the recognition that every moment counts. To the degree that you acknowledge and act upon that reality, success will come your way.

You are rich beyond all calculation, and yet that richness cannot be hoarded or hidden away. To be experienced and enjoyed, it must be lived out across the individual moments in each passing day.

Live as though you have nothing to hold you back and everything to pull you forward. For in the richness of the moment, both conditions are true.

Every moment counts, especially this one. Make it count for something wonderful.

Decisive

2008-02-03T13:11:00.000+08:00

A decision is nothing more than a wish until you act on it. The more quickly you act on the decisions you make, the more powerful and effective those decisions will be.

Every moment you wait before taking action makes that action less and less likely. The moment you decide is the moment to start putting real substance behind your decision.

Give power to your choices by giving them your efforts. Even if the first step is small, take it right away. For your actions will create momentum. Once momentum is on your side, you greatly increase your success rate.

Being truly decisive means more than just making decisions. It means making a commitment to see them through. That takes action. And the sooner it starts, the more power it has.

It is time to get better

2008-02-02T16:08:00.000+08:00

When things seem to be getting worse, there's a good chance that they're actually about to get better. The night is often at its darkest just before dawn begins to light the sky.

When difficulties that have been looming break free and begin to run their course, the moment they will end suddenly begins to grow closer. When problems come out in the open where everyone can see them, that is when they are most likely to be solved.

When the challenges grow bigger, so do the opportunities for positive progress. When everything is going wrong, that's when you become the most highly motivated to make things right.

When the world looks bleak, do not despair. Instead, take the highly charged energy of the moment and turn it in a positive direction.

When the situation is at its worst, that's an excellent opportunity for you to be your best. That's when you can make the biggest positive difference.

The opportunities to move forward are always there, especially when they don't seem to be. When times are tough, that's when positive, focused action truly pays.