The Value of Life

All my beloved friends and readers,

What are you doing when you're not thinking about what you're doing? You're busy fulfilling the most sincere expectations you have for yourself.

That's why your expectations are so important. They take control during the times when you lose yourself in whatever you're doing, and thus they exert a powerful influence. When you truly expect something, it's like programming your mind to seek it out every chance it gets.

Expectations have a way of becoming reality even in the moments when you're not aware that you're making them happen.

Your genuine expectations of others work in a similar fashion. The expectations you have for someone else are communicated to that person in a way that can easily override whatever you do or say on a conscious level.

Real, ingrained expectations go beyond intentions, beyond pronouncements, beyond the surface, to a level that is deep and undeniable. Whatever you truly expect to happen, is very likely going to happen.

So expect the very best, of yourself and of others, with sincerity, conviction and persistence.

Rule One - You will receive a body. Whether you love it or hate it, it's yours for life, so accept it. What counts is what's inside.

Rule Two - You will be presented with lessons. Life is a constant learning experience, which every day provides opportunities for you to learn more. These lessons specific to you, and learning them 'is the key to discovering and fulfilling the meaning and relevance of your own life'.


Rule Three - There are no mistakes, only lessons. Your development towards wisdom is a process of experimentation, trial and error, so its inevitable things will not always go to plan or turn out how you'd want. Compassion is the remedy for harsh judgment - of us and others. Forgiveness is not only divine - it's also 'the act of erasing an emotional debt'. Behaving ethically, with integrity, and with humor - especially the ability to laugh at yourself and your own mishaps - are central to the perspective that 'mistakes' are simply lessons we must learn.

Rule Four - The lesson is repeated until learned. Lessons repeat until learned. What manifest as problems and challenges, irritations and frustrations are more lessons - they will repeat until you see them as such and learn from them. Your own awareness and your ability to change are requisites of executing this rule. Also fundamental is the acceptance that you are not a victim of fate or circumstance - 'causality' must be acknowledged; that is to say: things happen to you because of how you are and what you do. To blame anyone or anything else for your misfortunes is an escape and a denial; you yourself are responsible for you, and what happens to you. Patience is required - change doesn't happen overnight, so give change time to happen.


Rule Five - Learning does not end. While you are alive there are always lessons to be learned. Surrender to the 'rhythm of life', don't struggle against it. Commit to the process of constant learning and change - be humble enough to always acknowledge your own weaknesses, and be flexible enough to adapt from what you may be accustomed to, because rigidity will deny you the freedom of new possibilities.

Rule Six - "There" is no better than "here". The other side of the hill may be greener than your own, but being there is not the key to endless happiness. Be grateful for and enjoy what you have, and where you are on your journey. Appreciate the abundance of what's good in your life, rather than measure and amass things that do not actually lead to happiness. Living in the present helps you attain peace.

Rule Seven - Others are only mirrors of you. You love or hate something about another person according to what love or hate about yourself. Be tolerant; accept others as they are, and strive for clarity of self-awareness; strive to truly understand and have an objective perception of your own self, your thoughts and feelings. Negative experiences are opportunities to heal the wounds that you carry. Support others, and by doing so you support yourself. Where you are unable to support others it is a sign that you are not adequately attending to your own needs.

Rule Eight - What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. Take responsibility for yourself. Learn to let go when you cannot change things. Don't get angry about things - bitter memories clutter your mind. Courage resides in all of us - use it when you need to do what's right for you. We all possess a strong natural power and adventurous spirit, which you should draw on to embrace what lies ahead.


Rule Nine - Your answers lie inside of you. Trust your instincts and your innermost feelings, whether you hear them as a little voice or a flash of inspiration. Listen to feelings as well as sounds. Look, listen, and trust. Draw on your natural inspiration.

Rule Ten - You will forget all this at birth. We are all born with all of these capabilities - our early experiences lead us into a physical world, away from our spiritual selves, so that we become doubtful, cynical and lacking belief and confidence.

The ten Rules are not commandments; they are universal truths that apply to us all. When you lose your way, call upon them. Have faith in the strength of your spirit. Aspire to be wise - wisdom the ultimate path of your life, and it knows no limits other than those you impose on yourself.

"Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood." (Helen Keller)

Have you ever tried to do something that you really don't care about doing? You might get through it, but it is difficult. You can easily come up with all sorts of excuses for avoiding it as long as possible. Any effort you put forth is indifferent and ineffective.

The way to be most effective at any task is to care about it. When you care, you put all you have into the effort. When you care, you find ways to do it better, and better ways to do it.

If you don't care about what you're doing, ask yourself why you're even doing it in the first place. There may indeed be a reason why you do care about it, that you just haven't realized. For example, if it's something related to your job, even though you don't care about the task, you probably care about your job. Or you care about your paycheck. Or you care about earning money to feed your family.

Either at some point there's a reason to care, or there's no reason to be doing it. Care about what you're doing and you become vastly more effective at getting it done. If you're going to make the effort, isn't that the best way to have it happen?

Every day presents new opportunities for everyone. In the vast majority of cases, these opportunities are wasted. They fly right on by, never acted upon by those who find them. Those few people who achieve greatness are the ones who are prepared for the opportunities that come their way.

How do you prepare yourself for opportunity? The first thing that comes to mind of most people is money. Then there's education, training, experience, friends in high places. These things can help. They are, however, not essential. Nor are they enough, in and of themselves.

In his book, Compassionate Capitalism, Amway co-founder Rich DeVoss says:
"...what makes you ready to recognize and to reach out for the golden ring when it suddenly appears is something mysterious, something powerful inside your heart and head that says, 'I can do it and I will.'

That attitude comes, not from having education or having money or having a lot of contacts, but from a confident belief in you, a mind that's open to new possibilities, a willingness to do whatever it takes to make something happen. There are plenty of intelligent, highly-educated people with money and connections who never go anywhere in life.

You can have almost "everything" going for you, and yet without the right attitude, without the willingness and confidence to dive right in, opportunities will pass you by, one after another.

The best opportunities are not the ones that you look for, they're the ones you work for. Many people waste a lot of time "looking" for the "perfect" opportunity. They want to put themselves in the right place at the right time, and let the opportunity do all the work. This rarely happens.
Opportunity is not a free ride. There is opportunity in every apple seed. With the right nurturing the seed will become a tree and will bear an endless supply of fruit. But nothing will happen if you just grab the seed and do nothing else with it. You may very well have gotten "into" it at the beginning of its "momentum growth phase". Nevertheless, it will bear no fruit without your hard work and persistence.

Being ready for opportunity means being willing and able to do whatever it takes to make something of the opportunity.

Bill Gates says, in an interview on the CD-ROM that accompanies his new book, that "I've got the greatest job in the world." And because he feels that way about his work, he has amassed a personal fortune of around $15 billion, and built one of the most influential and successful companies in the world today.

You just won't find anyone who has achieved massive success by doing something that they hate. To achieve success, you must find something that you absolutely love to do. Something that you cannot not do. And do it well. Do it with passion, with excitement, with enthusiasm, with a healthy obsession.

That is not to say that you must become a workaholic. Because when you find something that you absolutely love to do, it's not work. It's fun. Obsession with making money creates workaholics. Focusing on limitation creates workaholics. Don't focus on making money, because then you'll be working. Focus instead on creating your dream job, on doing what you love to do the most. The money will come, but it is only one measure of your success. More importantly, you'll grow as a person. You'll grow into the person you were meant to be. You will fulfill your potential and make your unique contribution to the world. And that is worth far more than any check that anyone could write to you.

Mark Twain said, "The secret of success is making your vocation your vacation." Successful people are on a permanent vacation. Not because they don't work hard, but because they love what they do.

The other night on the radio a caller to a talk show was asked, "What would you do if you won the lottery?" Her reply was that she would "never work another day in my life." It always makes me very sad to hear something like that. It is sad to think that there are people who hate what they are doing. They'll never get anywhere with an attitude like that. And it is sad to think that the ultimate goal in life would be to NOT work. Can you imagine anything more empty? Think for a moment how that would be -- never contributing anything of value.

Bill Gates could retire today and live a life of leisure and almost unimaginable luxury. He has amassed a fortune that would last for thousands of lifetimes. And yet he still works very hard. That says a lot about the values and attitude that got him where he is today.

If your goal is to get to the point where you never have to work again, perhaps you should examine the nature of your work. Hating what you do will probably not get you very far. Find a way to love your work and you'll immediately have true success.

Why would you ever want to get even with someone who has wronged you? By very definition, getting even would mean lowering yourself to that person's level, and what would be the value of that?

In fact, there is no value in getting even. Any attempts to do so simply perpetuate and increase the harm that has already been done.

Instead of putting your time, your energy, and your resources into getting even, put them into moving beyond and moving ahead. For wouldn't you rather be getting ahead than merely getting even?

If your efforts are wrapped up in getting even, you're allowing your life to be controlled by those who have harmed you. That's certainly not what you want.

Forget about getting even, and put your focus on moving steadily and confidently ahead. That will put you in a far better position than you could ever hope to reach by merely getting even.

If you could choose between feeling gloomy and feeling delighted, which one would you choose? If you could choose between feeling sorry for yourself and feeling confident in your ability to make a difference, which would you choose?

The delightful fact is that you can choose and you do choose your attitude, every moment of every day. When you're feeling sad or happy or frustrated or assured, it's because you've decided to respond to life in that particular way.

By feeling lousy you are not going to do anyone any good. Yet by feeling great and putting those feelings into action you might just lift up others around you and make a positive difference in your world.

But what about those days that are filled with challenges, obstacles, frustrations and pain? Well, if you don't want to feel great about what's going on, you can always choose to feel great in spite of what's going on.

No matter what has happened in the past, this moment is filled with positive possibilities. No matter how lousy you may have felt five minutes ago, you can choose to feel great about yourself right now.

And when you genuinely open your eyes and open your heart to all the good things that are truly possible, the world around you will begin to resemble those great feelings you have.