Live life with H.E.A.R.T ! E = Encouragement (Mac 7, 2010)
This week I shall write on E, the second letter of the acronym H.E.A.R.T. E stands for encouragement. I always believe that encouragement is a form of emotion booster. It is an act or gestures that brings a true smile to someone’s heart or make him/her feel special and cared for.
There is this theory of bucket and dipper. Each of us has an invisible bucket and dipper in our hands. We can fill others’ buckets or we can dip from them. When we receive words of encouragement from others, others are filling our buckets. When our buckets are overflowing, we, too, become encouragers giving words of encouragement to others. On the other hand, if we continue to receive negative comments, feedback and sarcasm from others, they are using their dippers to dip from our buckets. It saps our energy and undermines our will. However, the secret is that when we fill another's bucket it does not take anything out of our own bucket. The level in our own bucket gets higher when we fill another's, and, on the other hand, when we dip into another's bucket we do not fill our own; instead we lose a little and diminish ourselves. Are you bucket-filler or a bucket-dipper?
If in introducing Albert to a friend, you say, "This is my friend Albert. We have known each other for over 10 years. If you ever need work done around your house, this is the guy to call. I've seen him building and repairing basements, kitchens, roofing and car porch etc. He really does them wonderfully." How do you think Albert would feel? How would your friend feel? Albert’s bucket would be getting filled and your friend would see the respect you have for Albert and would learn something about Albert that would normally not come up in a casual conversation.
Encouragement is a wonderful thing. It can lift you up when you are down. Encouragement does not have to be a grand gesture. It can be kind words, kind thoughts, an unexpected card or letter of appreciation or a private prayer. Any of these four can give hope to the person that you wish to encourage.
Kind words can be as simple as, "You look very nice today!" Have we ever told anyone this? Did you notice their facial expressions when they heard them? These expressions usually consist of a big smile and a twinkle in their eyes. So why do we not do this as often as we can? If we made it our mission to speak nice words thirty times a day, we would leave a trail of happiness in our wake so wide; the ripple effects could spread miles. This would affect us as well.
Imagine that you were Joyce. I met you at a function organized by you. When I arrived at the function, I came to you; I walked toward you smiling and greeted you with a HUG. I went on to tell you, “Joyce, you look so gorgeous; you are always so sweet and kind. Look at the decoration, what a nice decoration it is. I like it. You did a marvelous job.” I believe you would be happy to hear what I had said. Nobody likes negative comments such as “You look ugly”, “You are lousy”, and “Why you are so slow in completing your work.”
Believe it or not, it doesn't take much to give another person a shot of encouragement that feels like a shot of adrenaline. It can be something as simple as a short note left somewhere that says "I prayed for you today." It can be a card in the mail. It can be a voice mail message that says "I was thinking of you.” It takes only a few minutes to do or say it, but it can make another human being feel valued.
In the virtual world of email, conference calls, blackberries and the plethora of technology, we have to learn to juggle many priorities at once. Who will spare time to encourage their co-workers? And yet, many of us are where we are today because of those who made the time to encourage us and to mentor us along the way.
So, why does encouragement matter? What are the benefits of encouragement? I gave it some thought, and have listed here some of the key benefits for everyone involved, both the encouraged and the encouragers. Encouragement helps to build self-confidence; it can create an ally; it provides. About ten years ago, I found myself in an interesting discussion with a friend during meeting. As we reminisced about the "good old days", we remembered some of our early mentors who showed us the ropes, provided us with knowledge and insights. Perhaps one of their greatest gifts to us was the Art of Encouragement. As we reflected on "then" and "now" what hit us between the eyes is how seldom people take time to encourage others today. It seems communication has become more efficient, but is it really effective?
How about sending an unexpected card to a friend? How often do we get "real" mail such as a letter or card from a friend or relative? How nice is it to get a little note from a friend letting you know how much he cares about you and how great you are. These little thoughts do not have to be overly ornate or creative. It is those words of love, care and encouragement inside that mean so much to their recipients.
Let us think of people in our life who have encouraged us along the way. What kind of a difference have they made in our life? Have we taken the time to thank them? If we have not, why not we do it now? Perhaps send them a card, give them a call, or offer to take them to lunch. Let them know how much their encouragement has meant to us. I can guarantee it will make their day.
Prayer is not to be underrated. We can lift someone up to our God and tell Him about them. Ask for His guidance in their lives and to help them in times of hardship. You do not have to let someone know that you are praying for him or her, but I love to know that people are praying for me. I love the fact that they are thinking about me. It bolsters me, comforts me and motivates me.
I encourage you to encourage others. Let your friends know how much they mean to you and how much they are loved. Encouraging one another is what God tells us to do. He knows the impact it has on us.
There is this theory of bucket and dipper. Each of us has an invisible bucket and dipper in our hands. We can fill others’ buckets or we can dip from them. When we receive words of encouragement from others, others are filling our buckets. When our buckets are overflowing, we, too, become encouragers giving words of encouragement to others. On the other hand, if we continue to receive negative comments, feedback and sarcasm from others, they are using their dippers to dip from our buckets. It saps our energy and undermines our will. However, the secret is that when we fill another's bucket it does not take anything out of our own bucket. The level in our own bucket gets higher when we fill another's, and, on the other hand, when we dip into another's bucket we do not fill our own; instead we lose a little and diminish ourselves. Are you bucket-filler or a bucket-dipper?
If in introducing Albert to a friend, you say, "This is my friend Albert. We have known each other for over 10 years. If you ever need work done around your house, this is the guy to call. I've seen him building and repairing basements, kitchens, roofing and car porch etc. He really does them wonderfully." How do you think Albert would feel? How would your friend feel? Albert’s bucket would be getting filled and your friend would see the respect you have for Albert and would learn something about Albert that would normally not come up in a casual conversation.
Encouragement is a wonderful thing. It can lift you up when you are down. Encouragement does not have to be a grand gesture. It can be kind words, kind thoughts, an unexpected card or letter of appreciation or a private prayer. Any of these four can give hope to the person that you wish to encourage.
Kind words can be as simple as, "You look very nice today!" Have we ever told anyone this? Did you notice their facial expressions when they heard them? These expressions usually consist of a big smile and a twinkle in their eyes. So why do we not do this as often as we can? If we made it our mission to speak nice words thirty times a day, we would leave a trail of happiness in our wake so wide; the ripple effects could spread miles. This would affect us as well.
Imagine that you were Joyce. I met you at a function organized by you. When I arrived at the function, I came to you; I walked toward you smiling and greeted you with a HUG. I went on to tell you, “Joyce, you look so gorgeous; you are always so sweet and kind. Look at the decoration, what a nice decoration it is. I like it. You did a marvelous job.” I believe you would be happy to hear what I had said. Nobody likes negative comments such as “You look ugly”, “You are lousy”, and “Why you are so slow in completing your work.”
Believe it or not, it doesn't take much to give another person a shot of encouragement that feels like a shot of adrenaline. It can be something as simple as a short note left somewhere that says "I prayed for you today." It can be a card in the mail. It can be a voice mail message that says "I was thinking of you.” It takes only a few minutes to do or say it, but it can make another human being feel valued.
In the virtual world of email, conference calls, blackberries and the plethora of technology, we have to learn to juggle many priorities at once. Who will spare time to encourage their co-workers? And yet, many of us are where we are today because of those who made the time to encourage us and to mentor us along the way.
So, why does encouragement matter? What are the benefits of encouragement? I gave it some thought, and have listed here some of the key benefits for everyone involved, both the encouraged and the encouragers. Encouragement helps to build self-confidence; it can create an ally; it provides. About ten years ago, I found myself in an interesting discussion with a friend during meeting. As we reminisced about the "good old days", we remembered some of our early mentors who showed us the ropes, provided us with knowledge and insights. Perhaps one of their greatest gifts to us was the Art of Encouragement. As we reflected on "then" and "now" what hit us between the eyes is how seldom people take time to encourage others today. It seems communication has become more efficient, but is it really effective?
How about sending an unexpected card to a friend? How often do we get "real" mail such as a letter or card from a friend or relative? How nice is it to get a little note from a friend letting you know how much he cares about you and how great you are. These little thoughts do not have to be overly ornate or creative. It is those words of love, care and encouragement inside that mean so much to their recipients.
Let us think of people in our life who have encouraged us along the way. What kind of a difference have they made in our life? Have we taken the time to thank them? If we have not, why not we do it now? Perhaps send them a card, give them a call, or offer to take them to lunch. Let them know how much their encouragement has meant to us. I can guarantee it will make their day.
Prayer is not to be underrated. We can lift someone up to our God and tell Him about them. Ask for His guidance in their lives and to help them in times of hardship. You do not have to let someone know that you are praying for him or her, but I love to know that people are praying for me. I love the fact that they are thinking about me. It bolsters me, comforts me and motivates me.
I encourage you to encourage others. Let your friends know how much they mean to you and how much they are loved. Encouraging one another is what God tells us to do. He knows the impact it has on us.
I know that I am not the best at this, but when I make a conscious effort to lift someone up, I see the positive effect that it has on them in the moment, and possibly the rest of the day. It also has a "pay-it-forward" effect on others they interact with throughout the day. I know how it makes me feel.
So, how do you go about encouraging someone else? We can look for opportunities to encourage, and when we give, we give it freely, sincerely and specifically. We can make it a habit and try to learn and find ways to make it easy. As you go about your day, look around you and notice people. You will find that as you become bucket filler, people around you will begin to fill your bucket as well.
Here you are, my E= Encouragement for all of you. In my next Sunday column, I shall explore the letter A as Appreciation in the acronym of H.E.A.R.T.
Esther Law is a director, consultant, trainer, Past Division Governor of Toastmasters International, President for Lions Club of Kuching Host (2009-2010). Esther is also the Overseas Director of Fuda Cancer Hospital, Guangzhou, China. If you have any comments about this article you can contact her at lawleepoh@gmail.com
