Live life through H.E.A.R.T! H=HUG (Part II) (Feb 28, 2010)
To me, HUG carries many meanings. In Part I of my article on HUG on 14 February I mentioned that HUG was a form action or gesture that transfers love, care, intimacy and concern for others or for ourselves. This week, I will share further my views about HUG. HUG transforms lives. HUG means acceptance, HUG carries values from within. HUG means welcome, HUG means self acceptance, HUG means motivation, and HUG means forgiveness.
A hug is a greeting from the heart. When we HUG others, it means we welcome them, we accept them and we love them whole heartedly. To HUG a person means we accept the person as he/she is, regardless of his/her race or level of education. HUG others equal to encouragement, HUG others also means that we have set hatred aside and we forgive.
HUG means different things to different people. HUG is when we make the conscious decision to have peace with an event or with somebody whom we were judgmental about previously; now we do not feel that way any longer. Instead we accept them as they are and respect their freedom of choice.
Have you hugged yourself today? HUG our inner self and we can come to self realization. HUGGING ourselves in our quiet time can be helpful for our emotion. By hugging ourselves, we would be able to pay attention to our inner voice and learn to trust its guidance. During our quiet time, we may come to realize what works for us and what does not, what is helpful in our world and what is not and what is right for us and what is not. As we recognize these, we can make choices whether to continue to allow them to be a part of our lives or to let them die a natural death.
Hugging ourselves can be helpful in allowing us to relinquish the nagging voices which continuously cast doubts on our decision making skills. HUG can calm and remind us that the choices that we had made were the best we could make under our own steam and under the circumstances we were in.
A hug is a great gift – it is “one size fits all” and is interexchange. When we begin to acknowledge those things or decisions made by others are not within our control, we no longer feel the need to have a negative emotional reaction towards them. Now we can channel our energy for other positive and fulfilling activities of the mind and the heart. No longer do we feel a tide of draining negativity that is sagging our energy away.
Accept others as they are; we are all unique and differ in many ways. Each of us is taking a different path; we do not need to seek others’ approvals neither do they. Knowing this will bring peace to us. Sometimes our paths cross and walk together hand in hand or we may be miles apart. Let there be plenty of tolerance along the way.
To me, in order to lead a happy and fulfilling life, you must accept and HUG our whole self. Hugging our whole self implies embracing all of our energy and all that we have judged and labeled as "good and wonderful” about ourselves and also all that we may have judged and labeled as "bad" or “undesirable”. We must not reject the parts of ourselves which we have labeled as "bad". When we do that, a portion of our own energy and life-force is channeled to suppress those “bad” parts, in order to ignore their presence, to hide them away from us so that we wouldn't have to deal with them. We must realize that, in actual fact when we do this, it creates stress, pressure, inner conflict, anxiety, and guilt in ourselves; it blocks the free flow of energy within ourselves and in time creates mental, emotional and physical problems. It keeps us away from fully experiencing the joy of life and the feeling of an abundance of life-force freely flowing through you, freely expressing through ourselves.
When we HUG or embrace all of our parts, when we invite and welcome them, love them and accept them, regardless of how imperfect or undesirable we may have considered them to be, enormous energy becomes liberated within ourselves. With each part that we HUG and embrace, we become free of some unnecessary burden, of baggage we have been carrying around; we begin to feel lighter, we breathe easier and are more energized. We can accomplish more things and have more energy to invest in creating the life we enjoy living. We feel good about ourselves, we become healthier, and more importantly, we begin to experience inner peace.
When we HUG ourselves, we accept and integrate it into part of us. There is no inner conflict any more. There is no more inner war, no more friction within that creates stress - there is only a wonderful peace in us.
When we look at our life, we may become aware of many things we did or said that we wish that we had not said or done. We realize that we had made many errors and are aware of all sorts of weaknesses and imperfections in us. However, if we look around, we notice that we are not alone. All of us have our own weaknesses and imperfections, all of us have done countless things which we wish very much that to have done differently. Have you ever met any perfect human being? I don't think so. It is ludicrous to expect perfection either from ourselves or from others. As long as we are living, growing and learning new things each day, we can be certain that we will continue to make mistakes.
The only thing any of us can do at any point of time is simply to do our very best. If we commit ourselves to do our very best and accept and love all those parts of us that need more polishing. Like parents who love their small children who are growing and learning, we will live at peace with ourselves and with the world. If we are aware of our own weaknesses and imperfection, we will have more compassion toward other people when we notice the weaknesses and imperfection in them.
If we embrace and accept our human nature, even while we are unfolding spiritually, instead of indulging in feelings of guilt, we will not be tempted to point fingers at others. People who tell others "You should be ashamed for this!" are those who are burdened and tormented with feelings of guilt, and who hope that if they can make someone else feel guilty, they will feel better about themselves. However, they will never do until they learn to accept themselves just the way they are.
When we fully and completely HUG or accept ourselves, then it would not matter whatever others may say or think about us because we are at peace with ourselves. When we have accepted all those things we have judged as "good" and "bad", and when someone point them out, we can acknowledge and admit that we could have done better; we will love ourselves just the way we are. If we feel that we need to change something about our own self, change it when we are ready. We can take whatever appropriate actions without ever crucifying ourselves for the past mistakes we had made. We can move on with our life and keep on doing our best.
Hugging has no unpleasant side effects. It is all natural. There are no batteries to be replaced; it's non-fattening and inflation-proof with no monthly payments. It's non-taxable and non-polluting. So, if you like, take some time to HUG or welcome all those aspects of yourself that you may not feel good or proud of. HUG them as if they were your own little children. Call back and embrace any parts of you that you feel ashamed of, any parts of you that make you feel guilty. As you do, you will become aware that they are transforming and dissolving into pure energy and you will feel more and more alive, free, happy and at peace. As you accept and love all parts of your being and your life, if you are able to HUG others as much as you HUG yourself, you will discover that you have opened the door to miracles, blessings and many wonderful surprises. There is an old saying: “A hug is two hearts wrapped in arms”. Let us HUG one another whole heartedly. Let us do it now!
Next week I will share with you about the letter E in the acronym, H.E.A.R.T. E = Encourage yourself, Encourage others. Do remember to read my column “Touching The Heart” next week.
Esther Law is a director, consultant, trainer, Past Division Governor of Toastmasters International, President for Lions Club of Kuching Host (2009-2010). Esther is also the Overseas Director of Fuda Cancer Hospital, Guangzhou, China. If you have any comments about this article you can contact her at lawleepoh@gmail.com
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